Archives – Page 9

Archives – Page 9
Journal entries dated March 29, 2010 to June 2, 2010
(Posts published 9/15/10 to 11/23/10)

<–Page 8SynopsisPage 10 –>

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Post #401: March 29, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 9/15/10)
Unhealthy dancing: Setting boundaries vs. manipulating

Post #402: March 30, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 9/16/10)
First steps in a new direction – Part 1 of 2: Our goal within therapy is for me (the real me) to be able to exist in the open

Post #403: March 30, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 9/17/10)
First steps in a new direction – Part 2 of 2: Our first therapy session ends with a sense of calm

Post #404: READER INPUT
(Posted to the blog on 9/20/10)
Reader Input: Asking others to change: Is it reasonable to ask others to change for my benefit?

Post #405: GUEST POST
(Posted to the blog on 9/21/10)
Guest post: When will we ever learn?: The impact the anniversary of 9/11 has on trauma survivors


Post #406: April 5, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 9/22/10)
Uninvited guests – Part 1 of 2: My housemate repeatedly violates a boundary


Post #407: April 5, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 9/23/10)
Uninvited guests – Part 2 of 2: I successfully enforce the boundary by throwing a fit

Post #408: April 6, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 9/24/10)
Innate knowing: I’m surprised by my own genius

Post #409: April 7, 2010 – 1:00pm
(Posted to the blog on 9/27/10)
Bull and china: Despite all that has happened, I still have tender feelings for Mark

Post #410: April 7, 2010 – 2:00pm
(Posted to the blog on 9/28/10)
Internal battlefield: My history with Mark affects my ability to trust Edward

Post #411: SPOTLIGHT
(Posted to the blog on 9/29/10)
Spotlight: 360 Degrees of Mindful Living: Blog based upon the teachings of Zen Buddhism and the simplicity of ‘right thinking’

Post #412: April 10, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 9/30/10)
The still, small voice speaks up: A decision to help search for a missing girl

Post #413: April 11, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 10/1/10)
Part of something bigger – Part 1 of 2: The search for the missing girl stirs up strong emotions for me

Post #414: April 11, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 10/4/10)
Part of something bigger – Part 2 of 2: Someone finally appreciates my anal retentiveness


Post #415: April 14, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 10/5/10)
Defining my value – Part 1 of 2: Negotiating with Edward on our method of relating; The history between my dad and me

Post #416: April 14, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 10/6/10)
Defining my value – Part 2 of 2: Examining my experience of how the abuse from my parents affected me; Triggered by the suggestion to physically act out my emotions

Post #417: April 15, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 10/7/10)
Tickled pink: Reflecting on how calm and safe I feel with Edward

Post #418: April 19, 2010 – Morning
(Posted to the blog on 10/8/10)
Holding my breath: I report for jury duty and learn the trial is a child sexual assault case

Post #419: April 19, 2010 – Bedtime
(Posted to the blog on 10/11/10)
My own day in court – Part 1 of 2: A grueling day of jury selection

Post #420: April 19, 2010 – Bedtime
(Posted to the blog on 10/12/10)
My own day in court – Part 2 of 2: I testify about my own history of childhood sexual assault

Post #421: READER INPUT
(Posted to the blog on 10/13/10)
Reader Input : Law of Attraction: Do you agree with the “Law of Attraction?”


Post #422: April 20, 2010 – 10:00am
(Posted to the blog on 10/14/10)
A horrific possibility: I am terrified I might find the evidence and testimony presented in the trial arousing

Post #423: April 20, 2010 – 4:00pm
(Posted to the blog on 10/15/10)
Returning to normality: I learn I don’t have to sit on jury

Post #424: April 20, 2010 – 8:00pm
(Posted to the blog on 10/18/10)
Weighty decisions: I debate the wisdom of attending the trial as an observer

Post #425: POST ROUND-UP
(Posted to the blog on 10/19/10)
Post Round-Up: Kids and Comfort: What children need; Turning self-injury into self-soothing

Post #426: April 21, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 10/20/10)
Their day in court – Part 1 of 4: The victims testify

Post #427: April 21, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 10/21/10)
Their day in court – Part 2 of 4: Reflections on how the victims’ testimony affects those who hear it

Post #428: April 21, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 10/22/10)
Their day in court – Part 3 of 4: The mother testifies; I’m deeply inspired by a thriving fellow survivor


Post #429: April 21, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 10/25/10)
Their day in court – Part 4 of 4: The victims’ uncle testifies; I realize I don’t need to observe the rest of the trial


Post #430: April 22, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 10/26/10)
Talking in circles: A humorous phone call from a potential piano student


Post #431: April 23, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 10/27/10)
They seem harmless, after all: The conversation with the potential student continues

Post #432: April 24, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 10/28/10)
Reverse that, would ‘ya?: The conversation with the potential student concludes; My foster kitty is staying a bit longer

Post #433: April 25, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 10/29/10)
What could I be remembering?: Struggling with using rape fantasies for masturbation

Post #434: April 28, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 11/1/10)
Brushing off the dirt: The aftermath of the trial; Contemplating how much I can trust Edward

Post #435: SPOTLIGHT
(Posted to the blog on 11/2/10)
Spotlight: Storied Mind: A great blog on healing from depression

Post #436: May 2, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 11/3/10)
My deepest expressions: My first student recital; It is healing when others express shock, horror and anger on my behalf

Post #437: May 4, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 11/4/10)
They can manage their own stuff: I’m once again disappointed by Mark; I use my voice in a powerful way

Post #438: May 8, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 11/5/10)
Stuck in the muck: Experiencing rage over my screwed-up sexuality


Post #439: May 10, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 11/8/10)
No good way: Dealing with my family’s current-day connection with “X”


Post #440: READER INPUT
(Posted to the blog on 11/9/10)
Reader Input: Source of your faith: How has your faith developed?


Post #441: May 12, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 11/10/10)
The gift of relief – Part 1 of 3: Therapy session about my need to masturbate to violent fantasies


Post #442: May 12, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 11/11/10)
The gift of relief – Part 2 of 3: Edward assures me that my behavior is normal and makes perfect sense

Post #443: May 12, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 11/12/10)
The gift of relief – Part 3 of 3: Edward provides possible rational explanations for my “twisted” thinking

Post #444: May 13, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 11/15/10)
Maybe someone finally understands: Looking at old memories in a new light; Gratitude for Edward’s support

Post #445: May 14, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 11/16/10)
More puzzle pieces: Making sense of the timeline around my sexual awakening

Post #446: May 20, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 11/17/10)
New ways of thinking: Processing the emotions the come up with arousal and masturbation

Post #447: POST ROUND-UP
(Posted to the blog on 11/18/10)
Post Round-Up: Cars and Lighthouses: Posts in other blogs on recovering memories of sexual abuse and on showing up authentically

Post #448: June 1, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 11/19/10)
Motorcycle goes, kitten stays: For the first time in 20 years, I am without a motorcycle; Foster kitty is still with me

Post #449: June 2, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 11/22/10)
They had other choices – Part 1 of 2: A therapy session about the physical abuse from my parents

Post #450: June 2, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 11/23/10)
They had other choices – Part 2 of 2: Examining my anger about being physically abused

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<–Page 8SynopsisPage 10 –>

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