Archives – Page 2

Archives – Page 2
Journal entries dated July 17, 2008 to February 21, 2009
(Posts published 04/21/09 to 07/06/09)

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2008 Teasers_Page_23b

Post #51: July 17, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/21/09)
It’s not my bullshit: T responds to my accusation

Post #52: July 18, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/22/09)
Unreasonable expectations?: I say — I can’t continue if I can’t trust you!

Post #53: July 19, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/24/09)
Maybe I’m high maintenance: My attack was unnecessarily hurtful, but my point is still valid

2008 Teasers_Page_23c

Post #54: July 20, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/25/09)
Defeat and resignation: I have run out of hope

Post #55: July 22, 2008 – morning
(Posted to the blog on 4/26/09)
His fault or mine?: T says — I’m still here for you

Post #56: July 22, 2008 – afternoon
(Posted to the blog on 4/27/09)
Apology in my heart: I say — thank you for continuing to show up for me

Post #57: July 25, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/28/09)
Piano keys in my dreams: I’m doing better

2008 Teasers_Page_23

Post #58: July 27, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 4/29/09)
What I expect of my therapist: Getting clearer about my complaints

2008 Teasers_Page_24

Post #59: July 27, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 4/30/09)
A dream brings memories: Memories arrive through dreams; I’m still physically frozen

Post #60: August 3, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/3/09)
Self-sabotage rears its head: I’m having mixed success with moving forward; Does God really care about me?

2008 Teasers_Page_25

Post #61: August 4, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/5/09)
God is waiting on you: T asks — Do you want God’s help?

Post #62: August 6, 2008 – 4am
(Posted to the blog on 5/6/09)
No new resolution or progress: I’m no longer benefiting from therapy, I won’t be back

Post #63: August 6, 2008 – 9am
(Posted to the blog on 5/7/09)
Disrespected in therapy: I say to T — You disrespected me and my spiritual beliefs

2008 Teasers_Page_26

Post #64: August 7, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/8/09)
Perceived or real attack?: T responds — Your fear and anger have nothing to do with me; I’m still here for you

2008 Teasers_Page_27b

Post #65: August 8, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/9/09)
Who’s causing conflict?: I turn to the Colorado Association of Psychotherapists (CAP) for more information

Post #66: August 9, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/11/09)
Conflict from different spiritual paths: The president of the CAP responds to my email

Post #67: August 10, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/12/09)
Stay or bail?: I’m just trying to figure out who’s causing the problem, me or my T (or both?)

2008 Teasers_Page_27

Post #68: August 11, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/13/09)
How do I make my case?: I ask another therapist for guidance on how to handle the religion conflict

Post #69: August 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/14/09)
Truth is not always absolute: I finally understand why I am so triggered by the conflict

2008 Teasers_Page_28

Post #70: August 25, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 5/16/09)
Setting boundaries – Part 1: I tell T — I apologize for my part; I acknowledge you for the way you have shown up so far

Post #71: August 25, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 5/17/09)
Setting boundaries – Part 2: I set a boundary with T — Stop means stop

Post #72: August 25, 2008 – Part 3
(Posted to the blog on 5/18/09)
Setting boundaries – Part 3: I set a boundary with T — I need you to keep track of key facts about me and my life

2008 Teasers_Page_29

Post #73: August 25, 2008 – Part 4
(Posted to the blog on 5/19/09)
Setting boundaries – Part 4: I set a boundary with T: I need for us to create a plan of action for my therapy

Post #74: August 25, 2008 – Part 5
(Posted to the blog on 5/20/09)
Setting boundaries – Part 5: I set a boundary with T: I need for you to keep your religious beliefs out of my therapy

Post #75: READER INPUT
(Posted to the blog on 5/21/09)
Reader Input – Setting boundaries: I ask the readers of my blog — What is your experience with setting boundaries?

2008 Teasers_Page_30

Post #76: September 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/23/09)
Shame loses its grip: The shame is starting to dissipate despite an emotional downward spiral

2009 Teasers_Page_1a

Post #77: October 11, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/26/09)
I’m not enough: I’m sabotaging myself, I feel disconnected from God, I feel irreversibly damaged

Post #78: October 13, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/27/09)
The impact of my words: I’m feeling better but I need a break from the emotional
rollercoaster; I’m prepared to examine my
role in our time of conflict

Post #79: October 26, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 5/28/09)
So much drama – Part 1: I feel isolated and unable to connect with community; Attending church has been painful; I’m confused about my sexual orientation

2009 Teasers_Page_2

Post #80: October 26, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 5/31/09)
So much drama – Part 2: I’m confused about my gender identity; Connecting with people is challenging; My addiction to degrading porn causes me to feel disgusting

2009 Teasers_Page_3

Post #81: October 28, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 6/2/09)
An end to therapy – Part 1: I find T’s physical contact during our session to be healing; T brings his religious beliefs into the session again and that’s a deal-breaker for me

Post #82: October 28, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 6/6/09)
An end to therapy – Part 2: I fully understand why T is so compelled to try to change my spiritual beliefs; nevertheless, I’m ending our therapeutic relationship

2009 Teasers_Page_4

Post #83: October 28, 2008 – Part 3
(Posted to the blog on 6/8/09)
An end to therapy – Part 3: I have a theory as to why I am so addicted to violent porn — and the theory gives me great hope

Post #84: October 29, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 6/11/09)
Keeping the door open: I say good-bye to
my T

*************** ENDED THERAPY WITH THERAPIST #1 (MARK) ***************

Post #85: READER INPUT
(Posted to the blog on 6/12/09)
Reader Input – End of therapy: In what manner has your therapy ended?

Post #86: SPOTLIGHT
(Posted to the blog on 6/14/09)
Spotlight: Everyone Needs Therapy: Spotlight on a great blog

2009 Teasers_Page_5

Post #87: December 1, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 6/15/09)
Death of a pet: My beloved cat dies

Post #88: January 8, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 6/16/09)
Sharing my story: I decide to launch my blog

2009 Teasers_Page_6b

Post #89: January 11, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 6/18/09)
Reprogramming my arousal: I am not my history

Post #90: January 14, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 6/20/09)
He doesn’t get it: I follow-up with T on how our therapy ended

Post #91: February 1, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 6/21/09)
Feeling disrespected: I give the members of my accountability group a piece of my mind

2009 Teasers_Page_6

Post #92: February 2, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 6/22/09)
Lack of commitment: I give the members of my accountability group another piece of my mind

2009 Teasers_Page_7

Post #93: February 4, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 6/23/09)
Foggy remembering: Uncovering more buried memories of being molested

Post #94: February 7, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 6/24/09)
He isn’t coming: There is no prince in shining armor coming for me


************** STARTED THERAPY WITH THERAPIST #2 (DR. BARB) **************

2009 Teasers_Page_8

Post #95: February 10, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 6/25/09)
In search of a way through: Continued difficulty dealing with my emotions motivates me to find another therapist

Post #96: February 15, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 6/27/09)
What I want in my life: Therapy homework

Post #97: READER INPUT
(Posted to the blog on 6/27/09)
I’m puzzled . . .: I ponder the reasons for the dramatic increase in blog traffic

2009 Teasers_Page_9

Post #98: February 18, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 6/29/09)
Intake advice: My new therapist gives me some suggestions for a better attitude

2009 Teasers_Page_10

Post #99: February 21, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 7/1/09)
Listening not so well: I examine my life priorities; Learning to listen better

Post #100: READER INPUT
(Posted to the blog on 7/6/09)
Reader Input – Life priorities: What are your life priorities?

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