Archives – Page 15

Archives – Page 15
Journal entries dated October 5, 2011 to December 21, 2011
(Posts published 8/30/12 to 11/16/12)

<–Page 14SynopsisPage 16 –>

————————————————————————-

2011 Teasers_Page_67

Post #701: October 5, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 8/30/12)
This is all there is: Finding solace in knowing it is a waste of time to work towards something better

Post #702: October 6, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/1/12)
Letting things stand as they are: Signs of trustworthiness in the men in my life

Post #703: October 13, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/3/12)
Like flying a jet plane: Acknowledging positive shifts

2011 Teasers_Page_68

Post #704: October 15, 2011 – 6:00am
(Posted to the blog on 9/5/12)
Where I’m at right now: Is it worthwhile to continue to fight to become healthier?

Post #705: October 15, 2011 – 10:00pm
(Posted to the blog on 9/6/12)
Maybe it’s safe: A relationship with a male student is strengthened

Post #706: October 16, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/8/12)
Letting go of the memories: I start sharing my
story in a more concise format

Post #707: October 22, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/10/12)
Hoping for a hero: I’m on pins and needles waiting for the cop to respond to my sharing my story with him

2011 Teasers_Page_69

Post #708: October 23, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/12/12)
A wish coming true: The cop comes through for me in an awesome way

2011 Teasers_Page_70

Post #709: October 26, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/14/12)
Reconciling dichotomies – Part 1: Wild weather creates an interesting morning commute

Post #710: October 26, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/15/12)
Reconciling dichotomies – Part 2: I acknowledge to my therapist that there are quality people who want me in their lives

Post #711: October 26, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/16/12)
Reconciling dichotomies – Part 3: I explain to Edward why I feel a need to be already “good enough”

2011 Teasers_Page_71

Post #712: October 26, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/17/12)
Reconciling dichotomies – Part 4: I express anger towards a man who encourages corporal punishment

Post #713: October 26, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/18/12)
Reconciling dichotomies – Part 5: I struggle to understand how my dad could justify physical and emotional abuse

2011 Teasers_Page_72

Post #714: October 26, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/19/12)
Reconciling dichotomies – Part 6: I tell Edward there is no way I would be able to feel anger towards my dad

Post #715: October 28, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/21/12)
I want what I can’t have: I try to make sense of why I don’t feel anger towards people who injure me

Post #716: October 29, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/23/12)
Such awesome kids: I appreciate the awesomeness of the kids in my life

Post #717: October 30, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/25/12)
That’s why I cry: I am deeply moved by my students

2011 Teasers_Page_73

Post #718: November 4, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/27/12)
The effect people have: I am impacted by other people’s behavior

2011 Teasers_Page_74

Post #719: November 5, 2011 – 1:00am
(Posted to the blog on 9/29/12)
I can only do what I can do: I express to Edward that I’m doubting my ability to heal further

Post #720: November 5, 2011 – 7:20pm
(Posted to the blog on 10/1/12)
I did the unthinkable: I ask a guy out on a date

Post #721: November 6, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/3/12)
Making space for the real me: My date was
awesome!

2011 Teasers_Page_75

Post #722: November 8, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/5/12)
Song of the elite: I have a big blow-up with the members of the music teachers association

Post #723: November 10, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/7/12)
If you can’t beat ’em: I reach out for input from music teachers I trust and admire

Post #724: November 12, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/9/12)
Brain rumblings: I sent to Edward a summary of things on my mind

2011 Teasers_Page_76


Post #725: November 15, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/11/12)
A whole new game: I check a different music teachers local association


Post #726: November 16, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/13/12)
Expanding circles of support – Part 1: I resign from the music teachers association; I check out a really neat conscious business group


2011 Teasers_Page_77

Post #727: November 16, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/14/12)
Expanding circles of support – Part 2: In my therapy session, Edward assures me it is more than okay that I sent him an extremely verbose email

Post #728: November 16, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/15/12)
Expanding circles of support – Part 3: Edward weighs in on my experiences with dating and with the music teachers association

Post #729: November 16, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/16/12)
Expanding circles of support – Part 4: Edward and I talk about how my belief that some damage is permanent might affect my therapeutic process

2011 Teasers_Page_78


Post #730: November 23, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/18/12)
Collaborative genius: I am amazed at how people are so willing to help me put together my students’ fall piano recital


Post #731: December 1, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/20/12)
Navigating the twists and turns: I’m aggravated with my housemates; I get a new student who happens to be a psychiatrist


2011 Teasers_Page_79

Post #732: December 3, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/22/12)
Vicarious nightmare: A student discloses abuse to me and I file a report with the police

Post #733: December 7, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/24/12)
Managing emotions – Part 1: I acknowledge my fear of not having enough; In our therapy session, Edward asks me about my student disclosing abuse to me

Post #734: December 7, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/25/12)
Managing emotions – Part 2: I tell Edward about how I’m feeling an emotional connection with my new male student, the psychiatrist

2011 Teasers_Page_80

Post #735: December 7, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/26/12)
Managing emotions – Part 3: Edward and I look at why I feel the compulsion to share my story with people, especially with men

2011 Teasers_Page_81

Post #736: December 7, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/27/12)
Managing emotions – Part 4: Edward and I talk about how my dad’s behavior affected my ability to show up authentically, even now

Post #737: December 7, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/28/12)
Managing emotions – Part 5: Edward and I discuss what it means to regulate emotions and how abuse can affect our ability to do so

Post #738: December 8, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/30/12)
Naming names: I’m frustrated by my lack of progress in therapy; For the first time, I call “X” by his real name

2011 Teasers_Page_82


Post #739: December 9, 2011 – 2:00pm
(Posted to the blog on 11/1/12)
Her nightmare or mine?: I get an update on the police case concerning my student disclosing abuse to me


Post #740: December 9, 2011 – 11:30pm
(Posted to the blog on 11/3/12)
One tough conversation – Part 1: The parents of the child who disclosed abuse contact me and ask for a meeting


2011 Teasers_Page_83

Post #741: December 9, 2011 – 11:30pm
(Posted to the blog on 11/4/12)
One tough conversation – Part 2: The girl’s parents ask me my I would file a report with the police when I don’t know for sure that abuse occurred

Post #742: December 9, 2011 – 11:30pm
(Posted to the blog on 11/5/12)
One tough conversation – Part 3: I try to explain to the parents why I filed a police report rather than talking to them first

2011 Teasers_Page_84

Post #743: December 9, 2011 – 11:30pm
(Posted to the blog on 11/6/12)
One tough conversation – Part 4: I explain to the parents that abuse can be present even in a “good” family

Post #744: December 9, 2011 – 11:30pm
(Posted to the blog on 11/7/12)
One tough conversation – Part 5: The parents and I summarize our feelings and our plans for future interaction

2012 Teasers_Page_01

Post #745: December 16, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 11/9/12)
Men, men and more men: Updates on the men in my life: male adult students, a potential personal trainer, and a beau

Post #746: December 19, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 11/11/12)
Really unreasonable: The relationship with the parents of the child who disclosed abuse totally
falls apart

2012 Teasers_Page_02

Post #747: December 21, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 11/13/12)
Allowing vs forcing – Part 1: In my therapy session, I tell Edward how a woman who didn’t know me recognized my authentic expression that shows up when I encourage my students to express themselves through music

Post #748: December 21, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 11/14/12)
Allowing vs forcing – Part 2: Edward and I explore how I encourage my students to be expressive and what might hold my students back from doing so freely

2012 Teasers_Page_03

Post #749: December 21, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 11/15/12)
Allowing vs forcing – Part 3: I get triggered as Edward and I look at what happens when children’s natural expression is squashed

Post #750: December 21, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 11/16/12)
Allowing vs forcing – Part 4: Edward and I talk about how we might address the body memories that cause me to feel paralyzed when triggered

————————————————————————-

<–Page 14SynopsisPage 16 –>

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: