Archives – Page 12

Archives – Page 12
Journal entries dated December 15, 2010 to April 4, 2011
(Posts published 5/29/11 to 10/13/11)

<–Page 11SynopsisPage 13 –>

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Post #551: December 15, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 5/29/11)
The God thing – Part 1 of 5: In our therapy session, Edward and I look at our interaction has been impacted by the aggressive evangelism from Christians in my life

Post #552: December 15, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 5/30/11)
The God thing – Part 2 of 5: Some parts of the book “Conversations with God” strongly resonate with me


Post #553: December 15, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 5/31/11)
The God thing – Part 3 of 5: We look at the parallels between my anger towards God and my anger towards my dad


Post #554: December 15, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 6/1/11)
The God thing – Part 4 of 5: Edward speaks to my dad on my behalf


Post #555: December 15, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 6/2/11)
The God thing – Part 5 of 5: We look at what keeps me from standing up for myself

Post #556: December 16, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 6/3/11)
Aiming my anger: Patterns within my relationships with men in which I get squashed

Post #557: BUS STORY
(Posted to the blog on 6/4/11)
Stammers and stutters: Funny stories about being a rookie employee at the bus barn

Post #558: December 17, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 6/5/11)
Drums and bells: My holiday performance for the local Rotary Club

Post #559: December 18, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 6/6/11)
My child voice: Giving myself permission to acknowledge how bad things really were with my dad

Post #560: GUEST POST
(Posted to the blog on 6/22/11)
Guest Post: Love, Abuse, and Forgiveness: Guest post by Jane Rowan, author of “The River of Forgetting”

Post #561: December 23, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 6/23/11)
Decay on multiple levels: I debate taking advantage of a “free day” at a local dentist’s office

Post #562: December 24, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 6/26/11)
A foot in each realm – Part 1 of 4: I take my place in line at the “free day” at the dentist’s office

Post #563: December 24, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 6/27/11)
A foot in each realm – Part 2 of 4: Shifting between an uncomfortable physical environment and inspiring words from the “Conversations with God” book


Post #564: December 24, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 6/28/11)
A foot in each realm – Part 3 of 4: Pondering the “Law of Attraction” and the idea of eternal damnation/salvation

Post #565: December 24, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 6/29/11)
A foot in each realm – Part 4 of 4: We are spiritual beings having physical experiences

Post #566: December 25, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 7/12/11)
Somewhere between miraculous and tedious: The fear of showing up as desperate is fading

Post #567: December 27, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 7/13/11)
A knot in my rope – Part 1 of 2: Feeling disconnected from my family

Post #568: December 29, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 7/14/11)
A knot in my rope – Part 2 of 2: My reasons for not reaching out more to my family members

Post #569: January 5, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 7/15/11)
My obligations as a human being: Considering the idea there is no right or wrong way to live life

Post #570: January 12, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 7/26/11)
Finding comfort in his voice – Part 1 of 4: In our therapy session, Edward and I review the extent to which the beliefs of those around me affect my beliefs

Post #571: January 12, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 7/27/11)
Finding comfort in his voice – Part 2 of 4: I remember the times I’ve felt “not heard” and “not seen” with the important men in my life


Post #572: January 12, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 7/28/11)
Finding comfort in his voice – Part 3 of 4: We look at how I was not able to ask for help as a child from my family


Post #573: January 12, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 7/29/11)
Finding comfort in his voice – Part 4 of 4: I have to ask for help from Edward to come back from remembering the past



Post #574: January 26, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 8/12/11)
What the hell is this?: Dealing with the aftermath of the therapy session

Post #575: February 2, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 8/14/11)
In search of hope – Part 1 of 6: In our therapy session, Edward and I explore the ways in which I was so powerfully impacted by the previous session

Post #576: February 2, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 8/15/11)
In search of hope – Part 2 of 6: We explore how loneliness causes me great pain in the present, how relationships have caused me great pain in the past, and how healthy relationships could facilitate my healing in the future

Post #577: February 2, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 8/16/11)
In search of hope – Part 3 of 6: We talk about the dichotomy between the joy of teaching and the despair of being alone

Post #578: February 2, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 8/17/11)
In search of hope – Part 4 of 6: Edward’s questions trigger memories of my dad’s judgmental interrogations

Post #579: February 2, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 8/18/11)
In search of hope – Part 5 of 6: I’m overwhelmed by the hopelessness I feel after Edwards tries to encourage me

Post #580: February 2, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 8/19/11)
In search of hope – Part 6 of 6: We discuss what might come next in my therapy


Post #581: February 8, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 8/24/11)
A moment of joy amid the pain: I get to be an audience member at a very special performance; Struggling to give myself permission to express my complaints


Post #582: February 16, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 8/25/11)
I want to believe it, but I don’t: I tell Edward that I don’t think I’m ever going to get better and that I’m a hopeless case


Post #583: February 22, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 8/26/11)
What else can I conclude?: Since I’m a hopeless case, I don’t see any reason for Edward to be willing to continue working with me

Post #584: February 23, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 8/27/11)
A space for crying – Part 1 of 3: In our therapy session, Edward and I discuss why I might be experiencing ongoing, deep depression

Post #585: February 23, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 8/28/11)
A space for crying – Part 2 of 3: Edward assures me that my case is not hopeless, that we haven’t done everything that can be done, that there is a reasonable explanation for my current state, and that he really wants to continue working with me


Post #586: February 23, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 8/29/11)
A space for crying – Part 3 of 3: Edward creates space for me to relive the terror my dad caused me


Post #587: February 26, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/4/11)
Rollercoasters and bicycles: I continue to relive the terror in the days after the session, but I also start to experience a sliver of hope that not all men will kick me to the curb when I expose my human-ness


Post #588: March 10, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/5/11)
Rollercoasters and puzzles – Part 1 of 3: Some great things are happening within my piano studio

Post #589: March 10, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/6/11)
Rollercoasters and puzzles – Part 2 of 3: I’m developing a “safe” and healthy relationship with the dad of one of my students

Post #590: March 10, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/7/11)
Rollercoasters and puzzles – Part 3 of 3: I’m finding this new relationship to be healing but scary

Post #591: March 16, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/24/11)
A picture is worth . . . Part 1 of 5: In our therapy session, Edward and I look at how I’ve been required to artificially show up in the world

Post #592: March 16, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/25/11)
A picture is worth . . . Part 2 of 5: We look at which parts of me are authentic and which parts are real, and when each of those parts tends to show up

Post #593: March 16, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/26/11)
A picture is worth . . . Part 3 of 5: We explore how I have shown up in relationships in the past and how I would like to show up in the future

Post #594: March 16, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/27/11)
A picture is worth . . . Part 4 of 5: We consider the reasons I haven’t had successful relationsips with men

Post #595: March 16, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 9/28/11)
A picture is worth . . . Part 5 of 5: We conclude I do already have healthy professional relationships, and personal relationships with women

Post #596: March 18, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/1/11)
Clarity amid the confusion: A powerful piece of music comes to me in a dream


Post #597: April 5, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/9/11)
A mixed bag – Part 1 of 2: I develop the “dream” music into a neat composition; Giving myself permission to not push myself so hard

Post #598: April 5, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/10/11)
A mixed bag – Part 2 of 2: I alert Edward to the rageful flashbacks I’ve been having

Post #599: April 6, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/11/11)
Brave new frontiers – Part 1 of 3: In our therapy session, we talk about why I felt a great need for my dad’s approval

Post #600: April 6, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/12/11)
Brave new frontiers – Part 2 of 3: Edward and I explore why I feel unable to stand up for myself to my dad

Post #601: April 6, 2011
(Posted to the blog on 10/13/11)
Brave new frontiers – Part 3 of 3: Feeling and expressing anger towards my dad; Edward and I share a hug, which is our first physical contact ever

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<–Page 11SynopsisPage 13 –>

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