Archives

Archives – Page 1
Journal entries dated pre-2007 to July 16, 2008
(Posts published 01/18/09 to 04/20/09)

SynopsisPage 2 –>

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2008 Teasers_Page_01

Post #1: 2001-2006
(Posted to the blog on 1/18/09)
Divinely-orchestrated personal “boot camp”: A bit of history

Post #2: April 30, 2007
(Posted to the blog on 1/19/09)
Please fall in love with me: One bad night

Post #3: Fall of 2007
(Posted to the blog on 1/21/09)
Coming out of the trees: The business plan for my life

2008 Teasers_Page_02

*************** STARTED THERAPY WITH THERAPIST #1 (MARK) ***************

Post #4: February 19, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 1/22/09)
Why can’t I stick with my plans . . . ??: I decide to go to therapy

Post #5: February 26, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 1/23/09)
What I see in the mirror: Homework assignment

2008 Teasers_Page_03

Post #6: March 2, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 1/24/09)
Shameful parts are deeply hidden away: My deepest shame (confession to my T); Setting a boundary on touch

2008 Teasers_Page_04

Post #7: March 6, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 1/27/09)
I feel dirty: More on my deepest shame

Post #8: March 12, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 1/29/09)
Tapes that run inside my head: Homework
assignment

Post #9: March 15, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 1/30/09)
I need a large personal space: Amendment to the touch boundary

2008 Teasers_Page_05

Post #10: March 15, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 2/1/09)
Was he going to kill me?: Triggered — memories of an assault

Post #11: March 27, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 2/5/09)
My ability to affect men: Does T want me to continue as a client? My sexuality; Being a mistress; Self-sabotage

2008 Teasers_Page_06

Post #12: March 31, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 2/8/09)
God might be disappointed: Fear of success; Is there value in “being” or only value in “doing”?

Post #13: April 6, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 2/9/09)
Too gross to be seen in public: Triggered by clothes shopping

2008 Teasers_Page_07

Post #14: April 8, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 2/11/09)
My spiritual journey – Part 1: Raised with very conservative Christian beliefs; Had paranormal premonitions of other people’s deaths; Went to a Christian college

2008 Teasers_Page_08

Post #15: April 8, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 2/13/09)
My spiritual journey – Part 2: Worked as a pastoral intern; Became disillusioned with organized religion

Post #16: April 8, 2008 – Part 3
(Posted to the blog on 2/16/09)
My spiritual journey – Part 3: Left the church; Developed my own spiritual belief structure; Had an abortion; Got married and divorced

Post #17: April 8, 2008 – Part 4
(Posted to the blog on 2/18/09)
My spiritual journey – Part 4: Addressing the conflict between my own paranormal experiences and my T’s religious beliefs

2008 Teasers_Page_09

Post #18: April 8, 2008 – Part 5
(Posted to the blog on 2/20/09)
My spiritual journey – Part 5: Started meeting people with similar belief structures

Post #19: April 8, 2008 – Part 6
(Posted to the blog on 2/22/09)
My spiritual journey – Part 6: How I
resolved, for myself, the conflict among
different religious/spiritual belief structures

Post #20: April 8, 2008 – Part 7
(Posted to the blog on 2/24/09)
My spiritual journey – Part 7: Met a family dealing with the aftermath of a demonic possession; Struggled to find a church home

2008 Teasers_Page_10

Post #21: April 8, 2008 – Part 8
(Posted to the blog on 2/26/09)
My spiritual journey – Part 8: Finally found a church home; Struggled with fear about my financial status

Post #22: April 8, 2008 – Part 9
(Posted to the blog on 3/1/09)
My spiritual journey – Part 9: Trying to explain the mechanics of my own paranormal abilities

2008 Teasers_Page_11

Post #23: April 10, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/4/09)
Was I abused but don’t remember?: First inklings surface that I may have been molested

Post #24: April 13, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/6/09)
Dark side vs. light side: Torn between moving forward and being stuck

Post #25: April 15, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/8/09)
Yes, something significant happened: Yes, something significant happened to me as a kid, but what?

Post #26: April 16, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/9/09)
The flashbacks begin: The memories start flooding in

2008 Teasers_Page_12

Post #27: April 19, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/10/09)
Who had hands like that?: I remember more details

2008 Teasers_Page_13

Post #28: April 20, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/11/09)
The entire collection of evidence: Am I making this up or is it for real?

Post #29: April 21, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/12/09)
Another piece of the puzzle: More pieces to the puzzle

2008 Teasers_Page_14

Post #30: April 22, 2008 – 10pm
(Posted to the blog on 3/13/09)
I hate my dependence upon you: Major meltdown

Post #31: April 22, 2008 – 11pm
(Posted to the blog on 3/14/09)
My truth just got swept away: I’m terrified of losing my shelter in this storm

2008 Teasers_Page_15

Post #32: April 23, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/15/09)
Beating up myself: Should I leave therapy? No way I’m apologizing for lying as a kid to protect myself

Post #33: April 27, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/18/09)
I was totally unprepared: I’m willing to take steps to keep myself safe

Post #34: May 4, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/19/09)
Secrecy vs. privacy: Maybe I won’t tell you everything

2008 Teasers_Page_16

Post #35: May 11, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/22/09)
The loss of innocence: Disclosing too much too soon; Sadness; Healthy sexual fantasies

2008 Teasers_Page_17

Post #36: May 18, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/25/09)
Shutting down the emotions: Conflicts between “doing” and “being”

Post #37: May 27, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/27/09)
Allowing the memories to come: Fear
about role-playing; More memories come to
the surface

Post #38: June 1, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 3/30/09)
The sexual pleasure I experienced: Still fearful about role-playing; Remembering the shameful pleasure

2008 Teasers_Page_18

Post #39: June 1, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 4/2/09)
It is easier to not touch: Fear about touch and expressing explosive emotions


Post #40: June 11, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/5/09)
Can you fill in the blanks?: Email to my childhood pastor

Post #41: June 15, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/7/09)
A trapped tiger: Ponderings about healthy expression of emotion

2008 Teasers_Page_19

Post #42: June 18, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/10/09)
No known problems: Email from my childhood pastor


Post #43: June 22, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/11/09)
This is a good place: Positive shifts in my thinking


Post #44: June 26, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/13/09)
Lashing out in anger: I have a need to be violently expressive in a safe way

2008 Teasers_Page_20

Post #45: June 29, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/14/09)
Stuck in an angry place: Physically frozen

Post #46: July 4, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/15/09)
Did you molest me?: Letter to “X” – did you molest me?

Post #47: July 7, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/17/09)
I wanted to be frightful: I wish I could physically act out what I’m feeling inside

2008 Teasers_Page_21

Post #48: July 9, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/18/09)
The accused responds: “X” responds to my letter

2008 Teasers_Page_22

Post #49: July 15, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/19/09)
Feeling stuck and angry: I’m stuck and can’t do this anymore

Post #50: July 16, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/20/09)
I detect bullshit: Accusation — you’re
bullshitting me!

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SynopsisPage 2 –>

Responses

  1. […] Marie – Recovering memories of sexual abuse, releasing shame, healing addictions, learning to trust […]


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