Posted by: Marie | October 28, 2013

(887) So, what’s the problem? – Part 2 of 4

Post #887
[Private journal entry written on Wednesday, July 11, 2012 about a coaching session – continued from previous post]

We always record the coaching sessions so that the coachees can listen to it again later. So, I’m including both a transcript of the recording and a link to the recording itself . . .

I find it interesting how the audience members responded to what was said . . . of course, you have to listen to the audio file to hear that . . .

By the way . . . within the first few minutes of audio, you will hear some giggling from the audience at what seems to be an inopportune time . . . and I will refer to a running joke . . .

I imagine that all would seem inappropriate and rude, given the fact I was quite emotional at that point in the coaching session . . . but, here is why it was not inappropriate and rude:

(231)

Photo by Martin Chen

Everyone in the group knows that I cry easily and that it is very common for me to reach for the box of kleenex during the meetings even when the discussion is not focused on me, and the group members joke with me about it in a supportive, good-natured manner as a way to let me know my frequent crying is totally okay with them . . .

My emotions are often very close to the surface during the networking meetings because of the energy that is present in the room . . . it is a very safe, warm and accepting group of people . . . and, whenever someone else is embarrassed because they became emotional during a meeting, I always assure them it is fine . . . I do it all the time . . .

During the coaching, when I first started becoming emotional, I turned around to look for the box of kleenex. Immediately, several people jumped up to find them for me, which became a rather humorous situation . . . so, while the giggling seems inconsiderate, it actually was not, given what was happening . . .

Anyway . . . without further adieu . . . here is my coaching session . . .

—————————
[ Audio file – Part 1 ]
—————————

George: Hi!

Me: Hey!

George: How are you?

Me: Very good!

George: Good.

So, just a little bit of background . . . a lot of my work is rooted in NLP and hypnosis, so working with the subconscious mind is something that I specialize in with people . . . so, thank you, by the way for showing up and being here . . . it takes a lot of courage . . . can we give her a round of applause?

(Applause)

George: It takes a ton of courage to be in front of people and open the guts and spill them a little bit. So, I’d love to start off with you sharing . . . what’s the challenge or what’s the “problem” you might be having?

Me: Well, my background has prepared me well for the job that I’m doing now. So, as far as business processes and financial management and marketing, I have a really strong background that makes it easy to have a successful business, so my business has actually taken off and grown tremendously quickly. So, about a month ago or six weeks ago, I very boldly said, “Well, I don’t want to put my name in to be the ad hoc coachee because I don’t have any issues with my business.”

George: Oh!

Me: A little scary to say that, but . . . but then I went back to the studio and I thought that surely I have something I’m challenged with . . . and, what I realized is it has to do with the students . . . I have some students who show up . . . and, I’m a piano teacher, by the way . . and some students show up . . . the kids are excited, the parents are on-board, the parents sit on in the lessons and take notes and they sit with their kids during the practice time and help them learn how to practice, the kids show up well-prepared, they’re excited, the parents are excited, the parents remember to show up for lessons . . . so, they’re ideal clients and it’s just . . . all the pistons are firing and the kids progress . . .

And then I have this subset of students where they typically come from challenged families. They’ll show up with low self-esteem and the parents are disconnected, and the business side of me says they aren’t ideal clients, I should cut just them loose.

George: Okay . . .

Me: And the heart side of me . . . and this is what’s . . . (suddenly becoming emotional)

(Giggles from the audience)

Me: I cry a lot . . that’s kind of the joke here . . .

(From the audience) We’re here for you . . .

Me: So, my heart says I want to hang onto them because I can see me from when I was a kid and the struggles I had . . . you know, self-esteem and feeling worthwhile . . . and I can be a confidant with them, and there’s been a lot of times where the kids have told me some stuff that’s happening and I’ve had to get social services involved, and sometimes they just need a big-sister type . . . so there’s that connection that I want to hang onto. But, in addition . . . because that . . . I’ve had enough experience in life, and education and everything that I can do that part of it quite well . . . to be there for them.

The part that I haven’t been able to do is to get them excited about music because I know these kids . . . a lot of them have a creative side, or it could be an outlet for them for the emotions they aren’t allowed to express in their home, maybe because they come from a really strict . . . like a religiously oppressive household or whatever, so I struggle to turn them onto the music and to practice and to get excited about the music . . .

And it would be nice if I could encourage the parents to get excited about it, as well, and use that as a way to connect with their kids . . . kind of inspiring them to connect because it could be a really healing thing for them, for the parents to connect and for the kids to get engaged and excited, but a lot of times the kids don’t even believe they can do it.

George: It feels like there is a distinction between your ideal clients and some of them that come through that come from maybe abused families . . . and do they want to be there?

Me: Sometimes.

George: Sometimes . . .

Me: Sometimes no . . .

George: Okay . . .

Me: But I think if I could find a way to inspire them to get excited, then they would want to be there.

George: Have you ever tried to push a wet noodle?

Me: No . . . (laughing) buy I can imagine . . .

George: Yeah . . .

Every try to force a rose to bloom?

Me: No, I have not.

George: I love CBC and organizations like this because people are so heart-centered . . . they want to serve and give and love people even when they are not open to receiving, and it’s so hard to give somebody a gift when they are not open to receiving it. And so, there are a couple of ways that we can look at this, and the first one is from a business standpoint, like . . . what lights you up? Does it light you being with some of these kids who just haven’t learned to receive?

Me: It does when I’m able to open that up . . . because a lot of times . . .

George: What percentage of the time, roughly, would you say are you able to open . . . ??

Me: Five percent . . .

George: Five percent . . .

Me: Of those . . . of that subset . . . yeah . . .

George: So, let’s play contrast for a moment . . . let’s say that all of your clients were that . . . the challenged kids that come in . . . what would your business be like then?

Me: I would not like to get up (laughing) . . . it would be very discouraging, I think . . . unless I was able to find a way to open up that . . . the challenge that I see is, I think so many of them don’t believe in themselves . . . don’t believe that they can do it . . . so it’s really more than piano lessons . . . it’s more about causing them to believe that they are capable of learning, that they are worth the effort, that they are worth receiving . . . so it’s really a lot bigger than piano lessons and, whether or not they learn how to play the piano, I don’t really care . . . you know . . .

George: Yeah.

[Continued in the next post . . . ]

Quotes 797


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