Posted by: Marie | October 27, 2013

(886) So, what’s the problem? – Part 1 of 4

Post #886
[Private journal entry written on Wednesday, July 11, 2012]

I attended the conscious business networking group this morning . . .

Every few weeks, we do a “coaching” activity where a life or business coach works with two people (one after the other, not at the same time) for 20 minutes on some issue they are having. This occurs in front of the group . . . there are usually 20-30 people in the group . . .

The first person being coached (the “coachee”) signs up for the activity a week or two in advance. Then, the second coachee is selected on that day through a business card drawing.

For today’s meeting, I was scheduled to be the coachee who signs up in advance – I signed up for it a couple of weeks ago. I wasn’t sure if the exercise would be valuable because I had not been overly impressed by the last coach, Tom Terwilliger, just because he seemed to be focused on outer success. I didn’t think my coaching session would be very valuable if my coach had the same approach. However, I figured I had nothing to lose as I would have attended the meeting whether I was the coachee or not, and the coaching was free . . . I could take what the coach offered or I could leave it . . . what the heck . . . I was sure I’d learn something . . .

(230)

Photo by Martin Chen

At the meeting last week, the group leader told us a bit about this week’s coach (George Ira Carroll). She said he works mostly with entrepreneurs, and that his approach is to find out the issue or problem someone is dealing with in their business and then gently dig through the symptoms to get to the underlying cause . . . he believes a business issue usually has roots in a personal matter . . .

And, a couple of days ago, I went out to his (website) and read up on him . . . of course, I noticed that he is quite good-looking . . . of course I would notice that, LOL . . . and I’m guessing he’s maybe a decade younger than me, which means he might be a tad too young for me to be chasing after him . . . and, for all I know, he might not be heterosexual . . . but, a gal can always dream . . .

Anyway, I figured out from his website that he is a fairly new coach . . . I guess that doesn’t really matter if he knows what he is doing . . .

Over the past few days, I’ve been thinking about what issue I would bring to the coaching session . . . I really didn’t want to make it about my personal story because it seems I bring my story into every meaningful conversation . . . I want to be more than my story . . . and I wanted to show up for this coaching independent of my story . . .

Yet, I was aware that my underlying personal issue was probably going to be something related to my story . . . so, I knew my story might come up . . . but I wanted to see if I could show up authentically without it . . . at least, I wanted to not lead with it . . .

I decided the issue I would address is my struggle with knowing how to motivate the unmotivated students and less-than-interested parents . . . I wondered how George would find a way to map that back to something in my own collection of issues . . .

Anyway . . . today finally rolled around . . . and I had a big zit on the side of my face . . . of course, today was the day we had picked to take a group photo for our website . . .

I debated about wearing make-up to cover it up . . . you know . . . for the photo . . . and since I would be sitting within a few feet of George for 20 minutes . . .

But, I didn’t . . . I wanted to stick to my plan of no make-up for a while so my skin can heal better . . . and I want to prove to myself that the absence of make-up doesn’t negatively affect my ability to show up authentically . . . it was a tough choice, but I felt stronger for making the choice I made . . .

(And, by the way, I hardly thought about the zit during the meeting and during the coaching . . . I was too busy being deeply engaged, I guess . . . )

Anyway, I showed up at the meeting . . . George sat down a few seats away from me. One of the first things I noticed is that he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring . . . hmmm . . .

Anyway, at the start of the meeting, we always go around the circle and have everyone introduce themselves with a one-minute “elevator speech”. It takes us 20 or 30 minutes to get around the circle, so I had a good chance to check George out.

The meeting host asked each of us, as part of our introduction, to share a single word that best describes how we show up in our work when we are “in the zone” . . . I chose “playful” for my word . . .

During his introduction, George mentioned that he markets to people by offering a way to dramatically increase their business revenue . . . but, he pointed out, he believes it’s not about the money . . . it’s about being authentic, and that the money just happens to be the outward evidence of our showing up authentically in our businesses . . . it’s not really about the money . . .

As we worked our way around the circle during the introductions, I noticed that George’s body language and his energy indicate that he is emotionally available . . . it felt to me that he was showing up authentically . . . and that felt really good to me. It caused me to think he might actually be an effective coach . . . that I might actually get something valuable from the session . . .

We finally got to the coaching part of the meeting. Since I was the “sign-up-in-advance” coachee, I got coached first so the “ad hoc” coachee could have some time to think about what issue he or she would like to bring to the coaching session.

Before we start the coaching session, the meeting host reminded everyone that what is discussed in the coaching sessions must remain confidential . . . and we all agreed to honor that . . . he went on to say that the only way it can be shared outside the meeting is if the coachee chooses to share it . . .

(And . . . by the way . . . I’m choosing to share mine here on my blog . . . that’s what this series of posts is all about . . . )

[Continued in the next post . . . ]

Quotes 796


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