Posted by: Marie | October 2, 2013

(868) Well, darn it!

Post #868
[Private journal entry written on Wednesday, June 13, 2012]

I attended the conscious business networking group meeting this morning . . . the smoke is so bad today . . . it is thick like fog . . . as I was driving, I’d look down the road and I could only see maybe three blocks ahead. This is crazy! The fire is continuing to grow and spread . . . so many homes lost . . . there has been one fatality, a lady who wasn’t able to evacuate and her home burned with her in it . . .

Anyway . . . at the networking meeting, we had a coaching activity today . . . a professional business or life coach works with two people (one after the other, not at the same time) for 20 minutes each and helps them break through some issue they are facing. This is done in front of an audience . . . it is so cool to watch!

The coach was Tom Terwilliger. He is all about achievement, especially around fitness and nutrition. He was (is?) a body builder and a former Mr. American . . . interesting guy . . .


Photo by Martin Chen

At the start of the meeting, before we got to the coaching part, Tom sat next to me and his wife sat on the other side of him. At that point in time, I didn’t know anything about him except he was our guest coach. He’s a huggy type of guy . . . he hugged me a couple of times (once before the meeting and once after the meeting) and both times he said, “I’ll always take a hug from a beautiful woman!”

So . . . friendly guy . . . outgoing personality . . . he definitely has a Tony Robbins thing going . . . push, push hard . . . make use of every minute . . . you must use all your resources as efficiently as possible . . . maximize . . . be all you can be . . .

Sheesh . . .

I’m at the place in my personal growth that I’ve started moving away from all of that. I’m learning that quality of life, at least for me, comes from being and allowing, and not so much from doing. I’m learning to relax and enjoy and be present . . . cherishing relationships and peace and calm . . .

For me, pushing for maximum output takes away from that. For me, pushing to be so productive and accomplished was a way to prove I’m “good enough to be loved” . . . I don’t know if that’s the case for him, but I know it was for me.

So, his message didn’t resonate with me, and I found his energy to be over the top . . . forced, even. Both he and his wife seem to be focused on outer success.

At the end of the meeting, after he had finished the coaching, he was talking about programs and books that he offers. Then, he said, “I just did my sales pitch and I’m trying to sell you something . . . and here is my challenge for you . . . look inside of yourself and take notice of how you are reacting to my sales pitch. Are you saying to yourself, ‘That makes me angry’, or ‘I don’t have enough of X‘ or ‘I’m not able to do that’ . . . that bit of information will indicate to you what is standing in the way of your reaching your goals . . . the same limiting thoughts that show up when someone tries to sell you something are the same thoughts that stand in your way when you are trying to accomplish something. Whether or not what I’m trying to sell you is something worthwhile for you, you can still use this as an opportunity to see how you respond to any and all opportunities that show up in your life.”

When I looked inside myself per his suggestion, I almost had to laugh . . . I found I was very detached from his sales pitch . . . I actually had considered the value to me of what he had to sell and if it would be of interest to me . . . I wasn’t resisting his sales pitch, I was simply detached from any need to sign on, or any need to defend to him my lack of interest.

What he was saying was interesting . . . but it was more interesting to me to notice how detached I was from his sales pitch. I determined I wasn’t interested in his products, but I did find myself valuing him as a person. In other words, I could decline his products while still seeing him as a person of value.

That’s a good place to be with things.


And . . . I had my phone set on silent mode during the meeting, so I didn’t know I had gotten a text from Fianna until I got in my car to leave, at which time I checked my phone . . .

It was a pretty cryptic message, but basically it said that they had been watching news footage shot last night . . . they saw their property and all that is left is the burned out shell of the house . . . it’s gone . . . she went on to say that her family was providing emotional support and that they would find their way through this . . .

Well, darn it.

I called her and left a voicemail expressing my sadness for her and her family . . .

Then, when I got back to my studio, I sent off an update on Fianna’s house to my mom.

I also sent this email to Luke:

Hi, Luke/Camilla –

I got word from Fianna that she learned last night her house burned . . . so, she is starting the grieving process . . . it sounds like she has solid support within her family . . .

Anyway, just wanted to keep you updated.

– Marie

Quotes 778


  1. I too suspect those who need to push themselves.

    As to Tony: I wonder why he is so resistant to being called a ‘motivational speaker’ (and why he hasn’t looked at his resistance to this)?

    • Hey, Evan –

      I wasn’t aware of that about Tony . . . very interesting!

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