Posted by: Marie | July 28, 2012

(678) The only way to progress is slowly

Post #678
[Private journal entry written on Thursday, August 25, 2011]

My heart must be in a tender place today . . .

I have a 14-year-old student who is at an intermediate level. He was so excited during his lesson today . . . he found a Mozart piece (1st movement of Piano Sonata in C, K. 545) with which he has fallen in love. He has already made significant progress in learning it.

I sat back in my chair and watched him play . . .

Photo by Martin Chen

Even though his playing was stilted and stumbling, I could clearly see his heart through the music. I was deeply moved by the pure joy he expressed in his playing. This was his true expression . . . his full expression . . . and I got to witness it first-hand.

Of course, I cried . . . he played for three or four minutes without stopping . . . when he got to the end of what he could play, he stopped and looked over at me . . .

I was busy wiping my eyes and blowing my nose . . . trying to do it without making too big of a disturbance . . .

He asked what was wrong . . . I assured him nothing was wrong . . . it was simply that his music moved me deeply. He thanked me – and I returned the thanks – and we got back into the lesson.

What awesome students I have!

———————

Edward and I had an email exchange today in response to the email I sent late last night:

Dear Marie,

First, let me offer you my full assurance that I’m not giving up on you.

I do Not experience you as sharing the same thing over and over – in yesterday’s session, I was moved by your experience of empowerment and freedom at work, and felt you experience the “felt sense” of the sort of freedom in intimate relationship that you’re longing for (one you’re experiencing with students), as well as growing in your deepening understanding of where you’re stuck.

Because I suspect that the dating/men issues are rooted in your father stuff, and because your dad could be terrifying, and because he could not tolerate any form of rebellion, I believe the only way to progress through this issue is slowly.

I’m right here, and we’ll get through it together.

Warmly,
Edward

———————

Thank you, Edward, for your words that so perfectly fit the need of “what I needed to hear”. I especially appreciate hearing that you can see evidence of my moving forward and that you believe a slow pace is normal and necessary. I’m breathing easier.

– Marie

———————

You’re most welcome.

Warmly,
Edward


Responses

  1. Small steps are the way to go I think. I like Edward’s response.

    • Hey, Evan –

      I am always amazed at Edward’s ability to know exactly what I need to hear in response to my fears. He is very in-tune with what’s happening with me.

      I appreciate your input!

      – Marie


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: