Posted by: Marie | May 13, 2012

(632) A deal with myself

Post #632
[Email exchange with my therapist on Saturday, June 4, 2011]

Hi, Edward –

I know I’m cutting it close on sending a status report before our session, but I figured I let you know what’s on my mind . . .

Of course, I’m still interested in trying to coax myself into swinging the racquet . . .

Photo by Martin Chen

And, I’m interested in exploring what is underneath the self-sabotage I experience whenever I try to do something healthy for my body. It’s been on my mind because, while I’ve been taking some small steps the past couple of weeks (eating somewhat healthier foods, walking on the treadmill), the overwhelming need to eat ice cream has tripled.

I made a deal with myself . . . I would eat better and use the treadmill, and I wouldn’t put any restrictions on what I could eat. In other words, if I’m being hit with that overwhelming need to eat ice cream in order to calm anxiety, then I’ll eat ice cream — and I’ll let it be okay. My focus has been on establishing healthier habits rather than getting rid of unhealthy habits.

I was hoping that, if my stomach is full of healthy food, I’d be less inclined to eat the ice cream. I was hoping that, if I feel more connected with my body because I’m using my muscles, I’d be less inclined to eat the ice cream. But, the opposite is happening — the anxiety has skyrocketed and the need for ice cream is growing.

I’d like to understand why.

So, that’s what’s up.

I look forward to seeing you on Monday . . .

– Marie

———————————

Dear Marie,

Thanks for the update. I look forward to seeing you soon.

Warmly,
Edward


Responses

  1. I hope we will hear about the session.

    • You’re in luck, Evan!


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