Posted by: Marie | June 29, 2011

(565) A foot in each realm – Part 4 of 4

Post #565
[Private journal entry written on Friday, December 24, 2010 – continued from previous post]

A couple of pages later, the book talks about a lie we have told ourselves about God:

“The lie which you hold as the truth about God [is] that God cannot be trusted; that God’s love cannot be depended upon; that God’s acceptance of you is conditional; that the ultimate outcome is thus in doubt. For if you cannot depend on God’s love to always be there, on whose love can you depend? If God retreats and withdraws when you do not perform properly, will not mere mortals also?”

“But you do no know Who You Are, and you think you are a great deal less. And where did you get the idea of how much less than magnificent you are? From the only people whose word you would take on everything – from your mother and your father.

“These are the people who love you the most. Why would they lie to you? Yet have they not told you that you are too much of this, and not enough of that? Have they not reminded you that you are to be seen and not heard? Have they not scolded you in some of the moments of your greatest exuberance? And, did they not encourage you to set aside some of your wildest imagining?

“These are the messages you’ve received, and though they do not meet the criteria, and are thus not messages from God, they might as well have been, for they have come from the gods of your universe surely enough.

“It was your parents who taught you that love is conditional – you have felt their conditions many times — and that is the experience you take into your own love relationships.

“It is also the experience you bring to Me.

“From this experience you draw your conclusions about Me. Within this framework you speak your truth: ‘God is a loving God,’ you say, ‘but if you break His commandments, He will punish you with eternal banishment and everlasting damnation.

“For have you not experienced the banishment of your own parents? Do you not know the pain of their damnation? How, then, could you imagine it to be any different with Me?

“You have forgotten what it was like to be loved without condition. You do not remember the experience of the love of God. And so you try to imagine what God’s love must be like, based on what you see of love in the world.

“You have projected the role of ‘parent’ onto God, and have thus come up with a God Who judges and rewards or punishes, based on how good He feels about what you’ve been up to. But this is a simplistic view of God, based on your mythology. It has nothing to do with Who I Am.

“Having thus created an entire thought system about God based on human experience rather than spiritual truths, you then create an entire reality around love. It is a fear-based reality, rooted in the idea of a fearful, vengeful God. Its Sponsoring Thought is wrong, but to deny that thought would be to disrupt your whole theology. And though the new theology which would replace it would truly be your salvation, you cannot accept it, because the idea of a God Who is not to be feared, Who will not judge, and Who has no cause to punish is simply too magnificent to be embraced within even your grandest notion of Who and What God is.”

Phew . . . wow . . . as I’m reading, I keep getting the sense that all I need to do in order to find peace is to relax and, essentially, do nothing. All I have to do is rest in the knowledge that there is nothing I’m obligated to do and nothing I can start doing or stop doing to change the final outcome of my life. That sounds so nice . . .

My brain was getting full and my ability to take in more of these ethereal concepts was becoming suspect . . . so I started thumbing through the remainder of chapter one to see what else might stick out . . .

The two concepts that I noticed while skimming were:

As we become more attuned to the truth, the more we realize we are spiritual beings having physical experiences. The sole purpose of our physical experience is so we can remember and recreate who we are. When we understand that we are generous and loving by nature, then we can create take that idea and manifest it in the physical realm by showing generous and loving behavior to other humans. When our generous and loving behavior is done with unconditional love, we are creating in the image of God’s creation – we are demonstrating our god-ness.

The more we understand we are spiritual beings having physical experiences, the less attached we become to our physical bodies and our physical experiences. Sometimes this causes us to sometimes want to be free of our bodies so we can return to our natural spiritual state of being. We can choose to stay in our bodies and live full lives, or to stay in our bodies and live sickly lives. And, it is natural to choose to leave our bodies. Sometimes people know it is time to leave their bodies but they choose to not speak of their choice with their loved ones because their loved ones will not understand their choosing to leave. It is only fear that would cause us to remain in our bodies when it is time to leave our bodies behind. And who determines when it is time to leave? We do – each of us individually chooses. And, it is nothing to fear. And, choosing to stay and live a full live is nothing to fear, either . . .

I closed the book and settled back into my chair . . . the waiting room was far less full . . . I could stretch out my own legs out in front of me.

As I looked around at all the sleeping children and the weary-faced adults, I realized that we are all on the same journey . . . my path looks different from those around me, some who are choosing drugs and prostitution and homelessness . . . but maybe their destructive behaviors are really no different than my destructive behaviors . . . maybe we aren’t that different . . . maybe the difference is that I enjoyed a hot shower last night and therefore I smell better this morning.

Photo by Martin Chen

Anyway . . . just after patient #85 got summoned into the back, the receptionist announced that they were closing the doors. Anyone already in the waiting room would be seen . . . but no one else would be allowed to come in through the front doors.

A minute later, my number (#86) was called and I was escorted to the back. I asked for a full set of x-rays to be taken so I could know the status of my one sensitive tooth, and to determine if I had any other issues brewing. The clinician looked at me in frustration . . . no, I was allowed one x-ray and one filling or extraction. So, I asked them to take care of the one tooth.

She took the one x-ray. While I was waiting for the x-ray to be read, I noticed a sign that stated that new patients can receive a full set of x-rays for $19 dollars (at a regular visit, not at the free clinic day). Wow . . . so, I could easily have afforded to have a full set of x-rays done to figure out what was going on . . . and I could have had the tooth filled on this day. Hmmm . . that’s good to know for the future!

A few minutes later the dentist appeared and announced I didn’t have any decay in that area . . . the only issue was sensitivity.

Well, what do you know . . . it really wasn’t that big of a deal!

I thanked the staff, gathered my stuff and headed back out into the cold sunshine . . . and back into my own version of reality.


Responses

  1. Like you Marie I think we are all on the same journey and that my destructive behaviours are much the same as other people’s. Put another way: if I was in the situation someone else was in then I’d have likely done much the same.

  2. What was the name of the book from which you were quoting?

    • Hey, Jared –

      The book is Conversations with God: Book 1 by Neale Donald Walsch.

      Thanks for your interest!

      – Marie


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