Posted by: Marie | February 3, 2011

(507) An updated update

Post #507
[Private journal entry written on Friday, September 24, 2010]

Maybe the part of me that is designed to facilitate the emotional bond between me and the man of my dreams is not completely dead.

Maybe I still have one iota of hope left.

There is a guy at the bus barn who is newly single. He just moved here from the east coast so he could start over with the help of his brother (who lives here). He just came through a really ugly divorce. I know he is having a rough time finding his place in this town.

Photo by Martin Chen

He seems like a decent guy. I figured he probably isn’t ready to jump into another relationship. I’m not ready to date. So, maybe we could just hang together and develop a good friendship. Then, maybe . . . down the road in a million years . . . we could look at moving it into a romantic relationship if it seems like a good idea.

Well, really . . . I’m not worrying about that last part . . . I’m just thinking I’d like to learn to be friends with a guy – develop an emotionally intimate relationship with a decent guy. That would be a major achievement for me.

I’m willing to give it a try.

So, I casually asked this guy . . . let’s call him Larry . . . if he might someday want to go on a short hike with me. He is about ten years older than me, but he is in really good physical shape. I know he’d kick my butt on a hike. But, I have been working out on the treadmill . . . my endurance is slowly improving. Maybe I’d be ready to do a short hike in a month or so from now.

I called his attention to the fact that it wouldn’t be a challenging hike for him . . . for him, it would just be an opportunity to be outdoors and to hang with a friend.

He said he thought that would fun . . . and he really seemed to mean it. He said he didn’t mind walking slowly because he would enjoy being outdoors and he would enjoy hanging out with a friend. He gave me his phone number and told me to call when I was ready.

I like that he was willing to accommodate my limitations – I don’t feel a pressure to be “perfect”. That feels good to me.

A few days ago, my blog buddies encouraged me to believe in the existence of good men. They tell me that good men are “out there” . . . I just need to keep the faith.

Maybe they are right. After all, they seem to be some pretty neat guys . . .

And, my therapist is pretty cool . . . and he is a guy. Maybe there are good men out there.


I sent the latest version (version 3) of my homework assignment to Edward today. I let it “sit” overnight, and when I read it again this morning, I still felt good about it. This version feels like there is some bulk to it and it seemed worthwhile to send it to Edward so he has a chance to look it over before our session . . .

Hi, Edward –

Well . . . I made some progress . . .

If you care to read it (and have time before Wed), I attached my writing . . .

Thank you!

– Marie

And he quickly responded:

Dear Marie,

Thanks for the updated update.

I appreciate the sincerity, openness, and thoughtfulness, all of which were so evident in your update.

I look forward to our time together on Wednesday, when we can attend to these issues with the kindness and regard you deserve.



  1. I hope you are gradually developing some good friendships with those of the male persuasion. I guess it will be a case of one small step after another.

    • Hey, Evan –

      I like the idea of developing friendships with men and practicing healthy relational skills — it’s proving more difficult than expected to find men willing to participate! Oh, well . . in time . . . I’m grateful for the 2-D male friends I have through my blog . . . and for my therapist . . .

      – Marie

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: