Posted by: Marie | December 29, 2010

(476) Reader Input: Why do you come here?

Post #476

Solicitation for Reader Input

As daylight fades and my focus shifts to the challenge of transitioning from a state of busyness into a state of restfulness, I often find myself wrestling with a sense of isolation. I come home to an empty suite of rooms (except for my kitty who is always delighted to see me). In those quiet hours before it becomes time to sleep, I often do battle with my demons.

This was especially true this week in the hours after our family Christmas dinner. I left the family gathering feeling very disconnected from my family members. I really struggled to remind myself of the support I do enjoy in my therapeutic circles – I struggled to remember that support still exists even when I’m not actively communicating with the people in my support network.

I usually can find a level of relief – a sense of community, a sense of belonging, a sense of being supported – when I read through the comments left on my blog. I often find comfort in browsing through those comments. I am so thankful for the time and energy people expend in order to read and comment on my blog. It is a gift that continues giving encouragement to me days and weeks later.

I am especially thankful for those who have faithfully followed and commented on my blog for a long period of time. I feel a strong kinship with that small group of people.

And, I often find myself wondering what motivates people to continue reading and commenting so faithfully. I’m not very good about returning the favor . . . not good at all. So, it can’t be a quid pro quo deal. I’m curious, what do you get out of it? Why do you keep coming back? I’m so grateful you do . . . and I’m curious about your reasons for doing so.

So . . . that is my question today. Can you tell me why? Why do you continue to comment? And, for those of you who are regular readers but don’t comment so often (or never), why do you keep coming back? What are you getting out of this?

Anyway . . . I’m hoping you’ll clue me in . . . .

I really want to hear your thoughts!! Please send me your comments!


  1. i come here because you give me hope. i need hope that one day i will see hope for myself. you are open, honest and vulnerable and that gives me hope… one day i want to be like you. i have a blog but i rarely share and no one really reads it. thank you for sharing yourself.

    • Hi, soulfulgrrl –

      Thank you for your kind words. I’m having trouble typing this response because my eyes are full of tears.

      I needed to read what you wrote. Thank you.

      – Marie

  2. Marie, we have issues in common, and you do a great job of describing your healing process in detail. Makes me think at some point I’ll follow your excellent example and do some major healing work also.

    You also have a very readable and down to earth style, so reading is a pleasure. And as I’ve mentioned before, I love your choice of photos. Oh and also, you do get some in depth and interesting comments for sure. I don’t always contribute, as I too can be shy / lazy that way, but I do enjoy and cogitate.

    I hear you on the Christmas issue Marie. Same here. What can you do. For what it’s worth, you deserve a kind and supportive ‘live’ family, and I bet you’ll find your own some day. Take care, happy new year!

    • Hey, Ellen –

      I really appreciate your input and it is comforting to know you are “out there” reading what I write and post . . .

      I trust that you will, when the time is appropriate, launch into your own healing journey. I imagine you already have . . . otherwise, you would not find what I write of interest. I’m betting you have already started healing.

      I’ll see you around!

      – Marie

  3. I just recently started reading your blog posts and I enjoy your writing style. I’m also new to healing process so I’m getting a lot out of hearing how others are dealing with their struggles.

    • Hey, Bemused –

      I have also gotten significant value from reading about other people’s healing processes. Sometimes it is because I gain new ways of thinking about things, but often it is because it validates my feelings and experiences at times when I haven’t been able to validate them myself.

      Thank you for hanging out here!

      – Marie

  4. Hi Marie, various reasons I think. So far as I’m aware:
    I like following your story and look forward to seeing what happens next. Watching someone go through therapy is very engaging to me.
    I hope you feel some support from me. I hope the occasional comment I make may be useful and that the other comments that don’t engage much with the comment let you know that I am thinking of you.
    These are the main ones. Others
    Comments are read by lots of people who don’t comment. So I hope that these people may find something in what I have to say.
    Finally and lastly:
    It is a way of advertising myself and my blog to your readers. A comment I make may really connect with someone and they may come and check out my blog.

    • Hey, Evan –

      I so enjoy your honesty! I figured part of your reason had to do with wanting to advertise yourself (professionally) and your products. However, given your generous and supportive character, I also figured it had something to do with your genuine concern and care for me as an individual and for other people on similar journeys.

      I really do look forward to seeing your comments show up here . . . even the quick ones . . . I really do like knowing I have been in your thoughts. So, know your involvement with my blog is noticed and greatly appreciated.

      You have much wisdom and I learn so much from your input. Like I said, I appreciate your honest and frank way of looking at things . . . and I like that you refrain from placing judgment on the decisions and actions of others. It allows me to feel free to explore even while you are observing.

      So . . . from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being such a great support for me over the last year-and-a-half!

      – Marie

  5. I come here because I wouldn’t have made it through my own journey without the incredibly loving and generous support of the readers who thoughtfully gave me input on my own therapy blog. It’s the law of the rightness of things that I give something back where my particular attention is useful … and this is a place where I can do that. Your path is different from mine, but you’re going in the same direction, and you deserve to have people who are willing to walk with you for a while.

    • Hey, David –

      I so appreciate that you have stuck around (also for a year-and-a-half!) and have shared what you have learned in your own healing journey. You and I may be on different paths (and I’m not sure how different they really are), but many of the lessons you have learned easily transfer to my experience.

      I know there have been many times I’ve struggled to get my head around some concept and you have come along and presented a really clear explanation for me. I’ve had many lightbulb moments thanks to your comments.

      Thank you so much for walking with me for a while!

      – Marie

  6. I started reading this blog during a very difficult period in my life due to my family situation. You remember in one of my first comments we discussed it. Your blog gave me a very clear and important insight into why my niece was behaving aggressively with her family members and towards me and my wife.

    Interestingly, once I understood what might be behind her anger and aggressive outbursts, my relationship with her improved a hundred fold. So this blog had a direct impact on something very important to me…

    From there, I became absolutely gripped by your story. Your writing is honest, direct, and vulnerable. Interesting, suspenseful and a lot of depth in almost every post.

    What better reasons to read? Now checking your blog is a part of every day when i come into work…

    I feel for you and am rooting so hard for you Marie. And I think it’s important you know how many people you’ve already helped…

    • Hey, Aaron –

      I am so glad you were able to find helpful information here . . . the main reason I started this blog is so others could have access to my story — I wish I could have found someone else’s story earlier in my process so I could have learned learn more about what the journey might be like.

      What I didn’t expect is how much benefit the blog — or more accurately, the community of people who participate in my blog — would be to me. The community (including you) has become a significant part of my support system.

      I appreciate your input . . . you always give me another perspective to consider. And, you are so encouraging! I enjoy reading your comments!

      Thank you . . .

      – Marie

  7. I enjoy reading your blog because of your honesty and openness and I think your writing is excellent as well. I like to read about other people’s therapy because it helps me with mine, even if we are dealing with different issues. I am always curious to see where your story will go next. Thank you for writing.

    • Hey, Harriet –

      I agree it is good to share our experiences . . . I know it helps me to know I’m not “the only one” going through this kind of stuff. I also think it helps lift the veil of secrecy and shame that often accompanies these topics.

      I’m so glad you hang out here!

      – Marie

  8. I first came across your blog while looking for blogs that addressed some of my own issues and struggles and I was taken by your honesty and courage in sharing your story. I like the way your write. I admire your determination to explore your demons and work on healing them. It gives me hope to read your words and to know that even though no two people’s experiences are the same, that we are not alone in finding our way through it all. I also enjoy reading the comments left by others, and find myself thinking that I could/should comment more often. But regardless, I am here and always wishing you the best.

    • Hey, Erin –

      I am so glad you have found benefit in other people’s experiences and comments . . . I think that is one of the greatest benefits of this online forum (blogging in general).

      Thank you for hanging out in this space! I really appreciate the support!

      I trust you will continue finding your way through it all!

      – Marie

  9. I have really enjoyed your blog. The last few months I have been having a hard time keeping up with reading. But you are not forgotten. I will get back here more regularly :)

    Your blog has helped me in many ways in understanding myself. I enjoy your style of writing and you are truly honest and real. You write about things I can barely think about at times.

    • Hey, lostinamaze –

      I appreciate your support in whatever forms it takes . . . I figure that it usually works out that we read the things we need the most to read and when we miss something it is because it is not that important to our current journey. It is funny how all that works.

      Thank you for your kind words . . . I am delighted that what I write can be of value to you. It is healing for me to pass along my story.

      – Marie

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