Posted by: Marie | October 19, 2010

(425) Post Round-Up: Kids and Comfort

Post #425

Post Round-Up

This week, I have discovered a couple of posts in other blogs that brought “ah hah!” moments into my day. I would like to share them with you.

The first one, What Children Need, from the “Find a Therapist” blog, gives a list of ideas of how adults can interact with children in a way that honors the innate value of children. I love it so much that I copied and pasted the text into a print-and-display-worthy document – and I pinned it to the wall in two places in my piano studio. I want people – adults – who visit my studio to read and ponder these words.

The second post, Turning Self-Injury into Self-Soothing, from the “Discussing Dissociation” blog, touches on a subject I’m currently addressing in my therapeutic journey. Here are a few passages I greatly appreciate:

“From even their youngest days, most dissociative trauma survivors were neglected or ignored when they were hurting. They were not comforted, and their pain was not acknowledged. Even as very young children, they were left alone with their pain and injuries. All too often, they were not properly tended to, they were not cared for, they were not hugged, they were not given medical aid. They were hurt – physically and emotionally – and they were left on their own to manage.”

And . . .

“Children who are injured in healthier environments are very much comforted by their mothers or fathers or other caregivers. Their hurts are recognized and acknowledged appropriately.”

And . . .

“Since traumatized dissociative survivors were typically not taught these ways of receiving comfort, this becomes an important treatment goal in their healing process. They need to know their wounds can be tended, that their hurts matter, that someone hears them, and that they can be treated gently during times of pain.

“Tending to the hurts and the wounds often has to be modeled to dissociative trauma survivors. In many situations, this will be a completely new experience for them, and the process of having their hurts be important, can be a profound experience.

“As trauma survivors start to experience genuine comfort and caring from others (this may start first in the therapeutic office setting), these survivors will eventually learn to copy these same kinds of behaviors and apply them towards themselves and their other insiders.”

I invite you to hop over to these blogs and check out these (and other) posts. I trust you will find inspiration for your own healing.


  1. I am 65 and a kid girl about 10 years told me repeatedly I want to be your wife, I told do understand what are you saying and she rightly away said you fuck me. what should I do

    • Hi, Akhtar –

      I don’t know that I’m in a position to help you on this except to encourage you to go to someone who is a leader in the environment in which this is occurring (church, school, etc.). This girl is in trouble and really needs help . . . she is reaching out for help. But, it would not be safe for you to attempt to help her directly . . . a third party needs to be involved.

      My thoughts are with you . . .

      – Marie

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: