Posted by: Marie | September 2, 2010

(392) Introducing Janet

Post #392
[Private journal entry written on Wednesday, March 10, 2010]

I had my first interview with a prospective therapist today!

The interview was with Janet . . . she is the therapist who called me on the first day I started looking for a therapist . . . it was because of her phone call I decided it was time to wrap up things with Mark. From the phone call, I learned she is a very warm and caring person – so, I was eager to meet her in person.

As soon as I looked her in the eye, I liked her. She is as warm in person as she is over the phone!

She had offered a 50-minute interview / first session for no charge. So, I had plenty of time to ask questions of her. She was very forthcoming with her answers . . . and, she often asked questions of me to better shape her answers to meet my needs.

Here is what I learned about her:

She has a “sage” creative energy (see illustration below).

This “creative energy” designation comes from a series of classes I took about 10 years ago in which I learned how to “read” the creative energy carried by people. It can be seen in how they carry their essence in/on their body – it is rather like a personality profile based on “new age” concepts. I also have sage energy, so I tend to feel a natural affinity for other sages. FYI, Mark also has sage energy.

Some characteristics of sages are:

– Lead with their hearts and with their ability to communicate

– Able to bond different types of individuals into a functioning group to serve an educational, recreational, or spiritual purpose

– Use humor and insight to disarm and connect people in a group

– Become energetically connected to a group, sensing where the group energy is, and able to represent the voice of each person in the group

– Create unique emotional and physical anchors or processes that allow a group to feel connected

– Have a resonant voice or have had speech impediments, throat problems or fears that keep them from feeling comfortable leading groups

When a client is dealing with the aftereffects of trauma, Janet goes into the pain with him or her so the client can really feel the pain and move through it to healing.

'Sage' creative energy

She is a “huggy” person by nature, and she is comfortable with laying a hand on someone’s shoulder (for example) to comfort a client during a session . . . but only if the client is very comfortable with that. The client sets the “touch” parameters.

She grew up in a fairly religious home but does not currently go to church. However, she has a very rich spiritual life. She believes we are on this earth to learn. She has a spiritual mentor. She meditates regularly. As we talked more about spirituality, I learned we are very much “on the same page”. She gave me some suggestions for books that might interest me . . . some I already had read (and really liked), some I had not.

She also has paranormal experiences – she doesn’t really consider them paranormal; she believes some of us are “awake” to them and other are not.

She believes each person is the expert on himself or herself. She believes her role is only to facilitate – not to direct or dictate. She would never tell someone he or she should or must do something (extreme life/death situations excepted). She encourages her clients to design their own healing paths.

She has worked extensively with people who have experienced childhood and current day trauma. So, she is very comfortable dealing with the aftereffects of abuse.

She has 10 years of experience as a counselor and a personal coach. She just started her private practice and I would be one of her first clients (if I choose her). It was evident she is fairly new to the process of interviewing potential clients – she is still getting the hang of it. I understand what that is like because I dealt with the same thing when I held interviews with my first piano students almost two years ago. But, I could sense she is well on her way to figuring it out.

Her fee is $100 and she is fine with me coming every five weeks. (My budget allows me to spend $20/week on therapy.)

One thing she did that impressed me is she quickly made the connection between the role music played in the sexual abuse and the role in now plays in my healing. I said very little about either aspect, but yet she made that connection and made note of the power embedded in that dynamic.

After interviewing her, I had a conversation with myself about continuing with the interviews. One part of me was saying I should just choose her and not waste the time of the other four therapists. I really like her, so why wouldn’t I refrain from wasting everyone else’s time?

Then, another part of me was saying I deserve the time and energy of all five therapists. I deserve to know the options I have. I am not wasting the therapists’ time . . . I am being respectful, I am doing my homework, I am showing up prepared, I am serious about this process. I am worth it.

The second voice won out . . . I’m going to keep going and do all five interviews. I need to do it for me.

I am worth it.


Responses

  1. I’m glad you decided to continue with the interviews; I think doing so will help you learn a great deal about how you process impressions and information, and will also give you the excellent opportunity to say “no.” Four out of the five — or maybe five out of the five — will not be the right match for you, and as I learned in the context of teaching myself how to date, learning to say “no” without feeling guilty or ashamed is a skill everyone should have.

    • Hey, David –

      I agree . . .

      I think this new way of moving forward goes towards shifting the sense that I am not entitled to take up any more space and energy than the bare minimum.

      I like your point about learning to say “no”.

      – Marie

  2. I’m wondering what other forms of energy (apart from the sage) there are. Couldn’t figure this out from the website.

    I’d always identified with the sage (Carol Pearson’s version) but I tend to lead with my head.

    Looking forward to hearing about the other therapists.

    • Hey, Evan –

      If you go to the .pdf document available via the second link (“creative energy”) and scroll to page 15 and to page 47, there are charts that show the seven types. Details about each type can be found in the pages between the two charts.

      If I had to guess, I’d say you were a sage/artisan mix . . . and I see some scholar, but it is a bit hard to guess when I haven’t met you in person.

      I wondered if this might catch your attention . . .

      – Marie

      • That sounds pretty right. I think some of the names are weird – the sage seems to be more like a jester for instance.

        But I’m interested enough to skim the whole document. Thanks.

        • By the way, sages tend to use very gentle humor . . . never hurtful, never obnoxious, just playful enough the lighten the situation and create a sense of community.

        • Oh, and “sage” is used to indicate wisdom.

    • That was pretty interesting — I think I came out as a Scholar/Warrior, though a couple of other combinations sort of fit as well, depending on how friendly I am feeling on any given day. ;-)

      • Hey, David –

        If I had to guess (again, without having met you in person), I would guess a scholar/priest combination . . . and some artisan. In the absence of an in-person meeting, photographs can be used as a significant tool in figuring it out. Each of the energies has a specific physical appearance some of which comes about naturally (priests tend to have finer bone structure, sages tend to have a stouter “Santa Claus with a full-face smile and twinkling eyes” look, some artisans have that slouchy hips-enter-the-room-before-the-shoulders walk, etc.)

        However, the weakness of using photos alone is that each photo reflects the energy the person was embracing at that particular moment. We all have a mix of energies, so photos can be misleading.

        If you look like the drawing you use in your gravatar, I would peg you as a priest right off the bat . . . the piercing eyes and angular face would indicate such.

      • I do look like that in real life. You know, what was interesting to me about this type of profiling vs. other types I’ve done is that this speaks pretty clearly to the fact that I am multiple. In looking at the descriptions of how to tell which creative type a person is, I answer exactly to the scholar, warrior, and priest characteristics … depending on the situation. The other four don’t resonate with me at all, but those three are all equally present — and in fact I know quite clearly who each of them is, if I were to identify them internally. Whereas, oddly, we are all the same Myers-Briggs type.

        • I hadn’t thought of the impact being multiple would have on this . . . I guess that does bring another dimension to it!

          How cool!

  3. Hi, Marie! I, too, am glad you decided to continue on with the interviews. It would be difficult for me to do that, once I liked Janet so well, but you are wise in holding on to your original conviction of doing the interviews. Afterall, what if you find one you like even more!
    My best to you!

    • Thanks, Ivory! I did learn so much from this process!


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