Posted by: Marie | March 31, 2010

(281) A day for roaring

Post #281
[Private journal entry written on Wednesday, December 9, 2009]

Well, I guess I’m back in therapy . . . I mean, formal therapy, with a therapist. My first appointment will be in a month from now.

After the email exchange with Mark yesterday, I’m noticing I feel at peace with the world and with men in general. I feel connected and feminine.

If Mr. Cute Guy were to ask me out on a date right now, I would say yes . . . and I wouldn’t set out all the caveats I have been creating and keeping in store for just that occasion (for example: just affectionate touch, no sexual touch for a long time, maybe even “just friends”, etc.)

I would just go for it and believe it would work out – I don’t think I’m ready for sex right now, but that wouldn’t stop me from dating. I don’t know why I feel this way, or how long it will last, I’m just going to enjoy it and not question it.

I am woman, hear me roar! Ha!


Responses

  1. Wow. That’s a big change. I’ll be interested to hear if it lasts.

    • Thanks, Evan!

  2. It sounds like healing that rupture with Mark was a very powerful experience … and I can really see why; he didn’t respond in the way men historically have — his interaction with you was very reassuring and stable, and affirming of who you are, and also free of any blame or negative repercussions.

    Even if your lioness-mind doesn’t stay where it is now, the fact that you found it once means you can find it again. Your female power is still there, which is something I think you’ve frequently doubted. She’s just been hiding from you … or perhaps it would be more accurate to say you have been hiding from her.

    • Hi, David –

      I like your thought that my lioness-mind is ever-present . . . I’ll keep that in mind!

      – Marie


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