Posted by: Marie | March 30, 2010

(280) No harm, no foul

Post #280
[Email exchange with my therapist on Tuesday, December 8, 2009]


I hope you know that I am always willing to help you in your walk. I believe that our sessions ended because we both were taking the paths we felt were correct at that time. No harm / No foul.

I commend you on your continued exploration of Marie. In our last sessions, I was attempting to help you explore some very difficult areas. Because of your personal life experiences, you have put up protective barriers both emotionally and psychologically. Without further information, all I can say is that they probably were very important and effective in protecting you at the time. Now you no longer need them/want them, or maybe you still believe that you do need them on some level and cannot recognize why you do. (You never did have easy questions.)

If you would like to go exploring and would like some company, just let me know.

If I don’t get to see you before the holiday…

MERRY CHRISTMAS! and congrats on your growing business.



Hi, Mark –

Thank you for the gift of your continued availability. I think it will be healing for me to go back and finish unfinished business (unfinished business = my ending things abruptly by leaving because I didn’t know a better way). I think there will always be things we don’t agree on, but I now understand that your acceptance and approval of me is not conditioned upon our always agreeing – and I understand that my appreciation for your professional skills and abilities doesn’t have to be conditioned upon our always agreeing.

Photo by Martin Chen

And, I have learned that I can set and enforce boundaries without having a meltdown and without throwing hurtful barbs. Contrary to what my dad taught me, disagreement does not have to equal rejection and broken relationships. My personal identity isn’t invalidated because someone [a man whose approval I desire as much as I desired my dad’s approval] disagrees with my choices. A year ago, I knew that in my head, but not in my gut. It feels like my gut is now on board – it just took a while for that to happen.

I apologize deeply for my part in how things ended and how hurtful my words were to you. I’m sure it could not have been easy for you to hold that space of possibility for me.

My schedule is very full for the rest of December (holiday performances & parties, week-long trip to Florida, moving into my new studio). I don’t think it would be wise to stick something this impactful into the middle of all that. So, I’m looking at January 4th at the earliest.

I’d like to schedule a double session so we have time to really get into stuff without having to watch the clock so closely. What do you think of that? Shall we go ahead and get something on the calendar?

– Marie



Thank you for your apology. You have the gift of being a very passionate person, and I hope you never lose that gift.

How about January 7th from 10:00am to noon?



  1. The emails sound good. Looking forward to hearing how the session went.

    • Hey, Evan –

      Thanks for being interested!

      – Marie

  2. The email does sound good. He responded as a caring professional would do. I’m very curious whether he was able to resist the desire to convert you, you marvelous heathen. ;-)

    • Hey, David –

      Gosh . . I haven’t been called marvelous for a very long time! You made my day!! Even better . . . a marvelous heathen! LOL

      – Marie

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