Posted by: Marie | December 23, 2009

(209) Spotlight: May We Dance Upon Their Graves

Post #209

Spotlight on a Great Blog

I have been perusing many therapy and mental health related blogs over the past few months and have found quite a number that I really like and have added to my blogroll.

Some of those blogs are of exceptional value to me — I feel compelled to call attention to them, as is the case with the blog I’m highlighting in this post. You may ask, “What qualifies as exceptional value?” Well, I value the following:

1) An overall focus on healing and moving forward — that doesn’t necessarily mean there is an absence of negative material; but rather, that it is balanced with solution-oriented insights;

2) Originality — while links to and reuse of enlightening material is good, original content is even better;

3) Relevancy — the majority of the posts are related to therapy and the therapeutic process;

4) Level of activity — the author(s) keeps the material fresh.

So, here is one blog that I feel qualifies as “highly valuable”:

May We Dance Upon Their Graves

The author of this blog goes by the name, “SwordDanceWarrior”. Here are some excerpts from her “About” page:

“I survived sexual abuse from my father, beginning when I was about 5 years old and lasting till I was about 14, when a growing awareness that I might tell forced my father to move on, to whom I don’t know. I was raped and strangled into unconsciousness, the first time at least. My mother did nothing to help me, although she is a perfectly nice woman, she was a dependent person and unwilling to be my saviour. She claims she knew nothing, which I’ve come to realize is impossible, although I don’t doubt she repressed what she knew.

“I am a woman in her 40’s, happily and legally married to another woman, as is blessedly possible in my country and should be everywhere else. I am smart, capable and successful in my job. I don’ t have kids. I have been healing for 20 years, and I want to tell those of you new to healing the abuse that every minute has been worth it. Every minute I am better, stronger and more free, not just of the effects of the abuse, but of our cultures stupid and harmful values around children, parents and women, and more the woman the Goddess intends me to be.

“Oh, probably the most important thing about this blog is that my father/abuser is dying of cancer. Not sure how quickly, but this is his second bout and he’s about 70, so I hope it will finish him off soon. However, if it’s really painful and debilitating, and gives him some good long quality time with the realities of how he’s lived his life, I’m fine with it taking awhile. Goddess willing, he’ll hopefully die around the time I relearn how to dance the sword dance properly and I feel ready to deal with the death of my mortal enemy.

“This blog is for me to tell the whole truth, anonymously, about what’s going on within me, something I’m not able to do in my regular life that often. It’s for me to break silence about incest and the injustice imposed by the cultural restrictions on talking about it. We need to start talking more about the realities of being an incest survivor. We don’t deserve for our pain and courage to be hidden shamefully away – that just adds insult to injury. Incest survivors are some of the bravest people I know.

And I’m one of them.”

If you are so inclined, I encourage you to swing by her blog and enjoy!

Quotes 120


  1. Thanks Marie, it sounds like a great blog.

    We certainly do need to break the incest taboo – the taboo is talking about it.

    Hoping there will be many more blogs like yours and SDW’s

    • Thank you, Evan . . .

      It is good that modern technology allows so many of us to tell our stories . . . in order for our stories to be heard, we need an audience — thank you for being part of that audience . . .

      – Marie

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: