Posted by: Marie | November 4, 2009

(178) Unlike anything you’d expect

Post #178
[Book study – Friday, July 10, 2009]

The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
(Third Edition, 1994)
by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis

Part Two: The Healing Process
A Stage of Healing: The Decision to Heal

[Table of Contents]


Green text: Quotes/Summaries from the book
Gray text: My words

This transformative work (the entire series of blog posts relating to this book) constitutes a ‘fair use’ of any copyrighted material as provided for in Section 107 of the US Copyright law.


“If you enter into healing, be prepared to lose everything. Healing is a ravaging force to which nothing seems sacred or inviolate. As my original pain releases itself in healing, it rips to shreds the structures and foundations I built in weakness and ignorance. Ironically and unjustly, only I can pay the price of having lived a lie. I am experiencing the bizarre miracle of reincarnating, more lucidly than at birth, in the same lifetime.”
– Ely Fuller

Deciding to heal, making your own growth and recovery a priority, sets in motion a healing force that will bring to your life a richness and depth you never dreamed possible.

The Red Ball by Martin Chen

The Red Ball by Martin Chen

While it is always worth it, healing is rarely easy. Choosing to work on abuse-related issues will raise questions you never planned to ask and will give answers you didn’t expect. Once you commit yourself, your life won’t be the same.

Often the decision to heal wreaks havoc with marriages and intimate relationships. It can be hard to function, to go to work, to study, to think, to smile, to perform. It can even be hard to sleep, to eat, or simply to stop crying.

Sometimes the early stages of healing are so filled with crisis that women have a hard time accepting the fact that they made a choice at all.

Deciding to actively heal is terrifying because it means opening up to hope. For many survivors, hope has brought only disappointment.

As one survivor put it, “I know now that every time I accept my past and respect where I am in the present, I am giving myself a future.”

Quotes 090


  1. Love this quote: “I know now that every time I accept my past and respect where I am in the present, I am giving myself a future.”

    Thanks Marie (and to the person who said it)

  2. Hi, Evan –

    Yes, I love that quote as well . . it seemed like a great ending for a post!

    Thank you for the comment!

    – Marie

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