Posted by: Marie | June 11, 2009

(84) Keeping the door open

Post #84
[Email written to my therapist on Wednesday, October 29, 2008]

Hi, Mark –

I wanted to thank you for yesterday . . . I really needed that close physical contact and it felt very safe to me (a bit weird at first, but in a good way, LOL) . . . I don’t think I have ever experienced that kind of touch from a man before in my life except for quick hugs . . . it had a very positive and heart-warming effect on me . . thank you!

I’m not sure if/when I’ll be back for counseling . . . I’m keeping that door open . . . but, whatever happens, working with you has been a life-changing experience . . . in a major way . . . I do feel like I have shifted things, at least my understanding of things, very significantly in a good direction with your help.  You were able to take me places I would not have been able to go on my own.

Right now, it feels like I need to just be with myself for the next steps . . I have some soul searching to do that only I can do . . . I feel clear about the questions that need to be answered and I have a good idea how to start finding answers . . . it may take time, but that is okay.

I’ll keep you posted . . . and thank you for your prayers . . . your willingness to pray for me means a lot to me.

– Marie

Quotes 002


Responses

  1. Hey Marie,

    How long did you stay away? I have a feeling the “open door” drew you back…

    Did you get the other things processes?

    Love your posts!

    • Hey, Ivory –

      LOL — yes, I have thought about going back to him just because of how safe I feel with him, especially physically. It would have to be with some very strong boundaries around religion and God — basically, we couldn’t talk about that. I have largely detached from him, emotionally — meaning I am not “infatuated” with him like I was in the beginning. So, I think it would be easier for me to maintain boundaries with him.

      In answer to your question about getting other things processed . . . well, that’s an ongoing process . . . there still is enough “stuff” to keep my blog going for quite some time. ;-)

      – Marie


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