Posted by: Marie | May 27, 2009

(78) The impact of my words

Post #78
[Journal entry written to my therapist on Monday, October 13, 2008]

(002)

A Walk in the Woods by Martin Chen

Hi, Mark –

Well, I’ve had a couple more days to get my anger/frustration out of my system . . . I’m feeling more upbeat and more focused on making progress with my income generating efforts. But, I still don’t want to think about (or talk about) the emotional stuff – I would like to take a break from all the right-brain stuff and go back to allowing my left-brain to be in control for a while. I want to allow myself to go back to being numb – for a while. Maybe a retreat back into numbness will allow me to catch my breath and be ready for another round later.

So, concerning what we discussed in our last session . . . I’m attaching the collection of written communications between us during our time of conflict . . . it is 19 pages long . . . I changed the most relevant text to red so you don’t have to read all of it . . . I think it would be helpful to me to better understand your experience in relation to my outbursts – I’m thinking I don’t understand the impact my words have.  Thank you for being willing to review this information . . . I would like to go over this at our next scheduled appointment (Oct 28) – and yes, I would like to keep that appointment, if that still works for you . . .

And, yes, for what it is worth, I can recognize my pattern of leaving (or threatening to leave) when things get really uncomfortable . . .

– Marie


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