Posted by: Marie | February 24, 2009

(20) My spiritual journey – Part 7 of 9

Post #20
[Therapy homework assignment completed on Tuesday, April 8, 2008 – continued from previous post]

Anyway, back to Jan and Beth . . .

Jan did some work with a local family in 1999 and 2000.  They had a young son who had become possessed with evil entities – Jan performed multiple exorcisms on him.  The mother subsequently documented the experience in a book, which was published in the spring of 2001.

As the book was coming off the press, the mother and father (Tim and Tina) were preparing to go on a speaking tour (including an interview on the Sci-Fi Channel) but had no public speaking experience.  Because of my public speaking background, Jan asked me to help them prepare – they knew it would be a controversial subject and that their audiences would not always be kind.

While the professional side of me jumped at the opportunity, the cautious side of me was a bit skeptical.  I believed evil entities existed and I believed people could be possessed.  I believed that the entities could be excised.  But . . . . was this specific case a legitimate case?  Was it my place to judge or should I keep my opinions to myself and just help them with the task at hand?  Did I really want to be associated with something like this?  (When I hear stories like this one, I am very slow to declare them credible – most stories I set aside as “likely not legitimate”.)

My trust in Jan had been growing and I gave significant credibility to her word – she said it was a legitimate case.  So, I spent some time with Tim and Tina to see how I felt about them and about their story.  Surprisingly, they were educated, intelligent, professional, classy, down-to-earth, normal people.  They had never experienced anything “paranormal” before their son was possessed, so they were still in a steep learning curve.  There was nothing about them to indicate they were looking for attention or fame – they simply wanted to share their story so others could be educated and helped.  I came to believe their story – and I did help them prepare.

Later that fall, Tim and Tina invited Beth and me to dinner at their house.  We got to visit with their son and his older sister and we got to tour the house where all the events had occurred – it was neat to have some down time with the entire family.  Their story had a huge impact on my awareness of what occurs on the “other side”.

In the spring of 2002, I got laid off from work and couldn’t find a new job – not even a crappy job.  My financial situation started going downhill very quickly.  Thus began my 5½ year divinely-orchestrated “boot camp” during which I learned a whole bunch of huge life lessons in quick succession . . . .

During the time that Beth lived with me, I had a strong feeling that she would be facing financial ruin in the near future and I had shared that with her – it really caused her some anxiety.  However, as I was going through the process of loosing my life savings and my house, she and I reviewed that conversation – it seems that I had foreseen my own financial ruin, not hers – she was doing just fine.  I had misinterpreted towards which person the signs had pointed.  We had a long talk about the responsibility that comes with having the ability to see future events – that I have a responsibility to make sure my interpretation of information is accurate before I share it.  This caused me to be fearful about using my gift.

In the spring of 2003, I was really feeling the stress from being in “boot camp” and was craving fellowship with spiritual people.  I looked for a church that had an active singles group as well as a choir.  I found a Baptist church near my house.  On my second visit, they discovered the pianist had gotten delayed and wouldn’t be able to play – so, I dusted off my brain and played piano for them – I didn’t do too bad, given the fact I had barely touched a piano in the previous 15 years!  Anyway, I attended on a regular basis, joined the choir and sang in a quartet – it felt so good to get back into music.

However, it wasn’t long before I was feeling that “trapped” feeling again – I did agree with most of the teachings, but not all; yet, it was absolutely not appropriate for me to discuss, while within the walls of the church, any of my contradictory beliefs.  So, I just kept my mouth shut.  That was stifling to me because I really wanted to fully share in the discovery and learning process – to learn and to teach.

I also felt like I was a hypocrite – it felt like I was indicating I agreed with all the teachings by sitting there and saying nothing.  I was concerned that someone would discover that my beliefs differed from the church’s teachings and the entire group would declare me a “backslider” (replay of what happened in Virginia).  I had to filter everything I said so I didn’t inaccurately indicate agreement when I didn’t agree, and so I didn’t expose the controversial truth.  It became too uncomfortable and I left that church.

[Continued in the next post . . . ]

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