The following blog posts all touch on my experiences with therapists:
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February 19, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 1/22/09)
Why can’t I stick with my plans . . . ??: I decide to go to therapy
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March 2, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 1/24/09)
Shameful parts are deeply hidden away: My deepest shame (confession to my T); Setting a boundary on touch
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March 15, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 1/30/09)
I need a large personal space: Amendment to the touch boundary
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March 27, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 2/5/09)
My ability to affect men: Does T want me to continue as a client? My sexuality; Being a mistress; Self-sabotage
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March 31, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 2/8/09)
God might be disappointed: Fear of success; Is there value in “being” or only value in “doing”?
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April 8, 2008 – Part 4
(Posted to the blog on 2/18/09)
My spiritual journey – Part 4: Addressing the conflict between my own paranormal experiences and my T’s religious beliefs
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April 13, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/6/09)
Dark side vs. light side: Torn between moving forward and being stuck
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April 22, 2008 – 10pm
(Posted to the blog on 3/13/09)
I hate my dependence upon you: Major meltdown
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April 22, 2008 – 11pm
(Posted to the blog on 3/14/09)
My truth just got swept away: I’m terrified of losing my shelter in this storm
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April 23, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/15/09)
Beating up myself: Should I leave therapy? No way I’m apologizing for lying as a kid to protect myself
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May 4, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/19/09)
Secrecy vs. privacy: Maybe I won’t tell you everything
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May 18, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/25/09)
Shutting down the emotions: Conflicts between “doing” and “being”
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May 27, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/27/09)
Allowing the memories to come: Fear about role-playing; More memories come to the surface
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June 1, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 3/30/09)
The sexual pleasure I experienced: Still fearful about role-playing; Remembering the shameful pleasure
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June 1, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 4/2/09)
It is easier to not touch: Fear about touch and expressing explosive emotions
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June 15, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/7/09)
A trapped tiger: Ponderings about healthy expression of emotion
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June 26, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/13/09)
Lashing out in anger: I have a need to be violently expressive in a safe way
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June 29, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/14/09)
Stuck in an angry place: Physically frozen
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July 7, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/17/09)
I wanted to be frightful: I wish I could physically act out what I’m feeling inside
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July 15, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/19/09)
Feeling stuck and angry: I’m stuck and can’t do this anymore
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July 16, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/20/09)
I detect bullshit: Accusation — you’re bullshitting me!
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July 17, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/21/09)
It’s not my bullshit: T responds to my accusation
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July 18, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/22/09)
Unreasonable expectations?: I say — I can’t continue if I can’t trust you!
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July 19, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/24/09)
Maybe I’m high maintenance: My attack was unnecessarily hurtful, but my point is still valid
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July 22, 2008 – morning
(Posted to the blog on 4/26/09)
His fault or mine?: T says — I’m still here for you
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July 22, 2008 – afternoon
(Posted to the blog on 4/27/09)
Apology in my heart: I say — Thank you for continuing to show up for me
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July 25, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/28/09)
Piano keys in my dreams: I’m doing better
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July 27, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 4/29/09)
What I expect of my therapist: Getting clearer about my complaints
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July 27, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 4/30/09)
A dream brings memories: Memories arrive through dreams; I’m still physically frozen
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August 4, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/5/09)
God is waiting on you: T asks — Do you want God’s help?
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August 6, 2008 – 4am
(Posted to the blog on 5/6/09)
No new resolution or progress: I’m no longer benefiting from therapy, I won’t be back
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August 6, 2008 (9am)
(Posted to the blog on 5/7/09)
Disrespected in therapy: I say to T — you disrespected me and my spiritual beliefs
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August 7, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/8/09)
Perceived or real attack?: T responds — Your fear and anger have nothing to do with me; I’m still here for you
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August 8, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/9/09)
Who’s causing conflict?: I turn to the Colorado Association of Psychotherapists (CAP) for more information
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August 9, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/11/09)
Conflict from different spiritual paths: The president of the CAP responds to my email
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August 10, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/12/09)
Stay or bail?: I’m just trying to figure out who’s causing the problem, me or my T (or both?)
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August 11, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/13/09)
How do I make my case?: I ask another therapist for guidance on how to handle the religion conflict
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August 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/14/09)
Truth is not always absolute: I finally understand why I am so triggered by the conflict
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August 25, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 5/16/09)
Setting boundaries – Part 1: I tell T — I apologize for my part; I acknowledge you for the way you have shown up so far
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August 25, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 5/17/09)
Setting boundaries – Part 2: I set a boundary with T: Stop means stop
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August 25, 2008 – Part 3
(Posted to the blog on 5/18/09)
Setting boundaries – Part 3: I set a boundary with T: I need you to keep track of key facts about me and my life
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August 25, 2008 – Part 4
(Posted to the blog on 5/19/09)
Setting boundaries – Part 4: I set a boundary with T: I need for us to create a plan of action for my therapy
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August 25, 2008 – Part 5
(Posted to the blog on 5/20/09)
Setting boundaries – Part 5: I set a boundary with T: I need for you to keep your religious beliefs out of my therapy
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October 11, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/26/09)
I’m not enough: I’m sabotaging myself, I feel disconnected from God, I feel irreversibly damaged
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October 13, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/27/09)
The impact of my words: I’m feeling better but I need a break from the emotional rollercoaster; I’m prepared to examine my role in our time of conflict
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October 28, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 6/2/09)
An end to therapy – Part 1: I find T’s physical contact during our session to be healing; T brings his religious beliefs into the session again and that’s a deal-breaker for me
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October 28, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 6/6/09)
An end to therapy – Part 2: I fully understand why T is so compelled to try to change my spiritual beliefs; nevertheless, I’m ending our therapeutic relationship
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October 29, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 6/11/09)
Keeping the door open: I say good-bye to my T
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READER INPUT
(Posted to the blog on 6/12/09)
Reader Input – End of therapy: In what manner has your therapy ended?
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SPOTLIGHT
(Posted to the blog on 6/14/09)
Spotlight – Everyone Needs Therapy: Spotlight on a great blog
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January 14, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 6/20/09)
He doesn’t get it: I follow-up with T on how our therapy ended
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February 10, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 6/25/09)
In search of a way through: Continued difficulty dealing with my emotions motivates me to find another therapist
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February 15, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 6/27/09)
What I want in my life: Therapy homework
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February 18, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 6/29/09)
Intake advice: My new therapist gives me some suggestions for a better attitude
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February 21, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 7/1/09)
Listening not so well: I examine my life priorities; Learning to listen better
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February 26, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 7/9/09)
I know what, but how?: I’m frustrated with my T’s focus on all the things I’m “supposed” to do and my inability to do them
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March 9, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 7/13/09)
Unable to protect myself: Looking at my priorities; Why am I defensive in therapy sessions? What triggers my emotional nosedives?
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March 11, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 7/15/09)
Please don’t make me do it: I really don’t want to do the visualization exercise
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March 15, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 7/17/09)
Borderline cluelessness: I believe I could have borderline personality disorder; I question my T’s ability to handle my case
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March 17, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 7/21/09)
Ants take over: I need to “just talk” without interruption; I am not able to stay positive; I think anger can be good
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March 18, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 7/23/09)
Mostly negative words: When I’m down, I journal; When I’m up, I don’t journal because I’m busy creating and doing
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March 19, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 7/24/09)
Body chemistry?: Finally, I feel good; Is it a brain/body chemistry thing?
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March 22, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 7/26/09)
Lies or affirmations?: I apologize for lying to T; I create affirmations for use during my self-care
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March 24, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 7/27/09)
I do have a life: I write about my positive experiences: reading a good book, doing needlepoint, teaching piano to a gifted little boy
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April 1, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 8/2/09)
Omitting important information: The same handsome man is showing even more interest in me; I am fighting a sense of being controlled by my therapist
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April 3, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 8/7/09)
Two steps forward: Our weight-loss challenge ends on a positive note; I struggle to comply with my therapist’s instructions
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April 4, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 8/9/09)
Being realistic or cynical?: My new beau leaves me high and dry
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April 5, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 8/10/09)
With or without you: I give my therapist an ultimatum: Walk through the pain with me or I’m walking away from our therapy
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April 6, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 8/12/09)
What should I do?: I ask another local therapist for advice on how to handle the situation with my therapist
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April 7, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 8/13/09)
I’m on the right track: The other local therapist (see previous post) indicates she believes it is necessary to deal directly with “what happened”
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April 9, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 8/14/09)
Let’s give it another go: My therapist agrees to do what I believe I need to do in therapy
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April 11, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 8/15/09)
A glimpse of the other side: I am bothered by thoughts of wanting to escape from life after helping to save a man’s life
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April 16, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 8/17/09)
I’ve had enough: I end my professional relationship with my therapist because I have lost my ability to say what I need to say
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April 17, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 8/18/09)
How I really feel: I give myself permission to write down what I REALLY feel about Dr. Barb
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April 18, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 8/20/09)
Peace out, man: I turn my anger in onto myself
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GUEST POST
(Posted to the blog on 9/11/09)
Guest Post: Therapy troubles: Guest post on the blog “Well-Being and Health” — Summary of my experiences with my two former therapists — what worked and what didn’t work for me
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June 15-17, 2009 – Part 5
(Posted to the blog on 9/21/09)
Lasting effects – Part 5: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – sexuality, compulsive behaviors
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July 2, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 10/23/09)
No more compliance: I realize that I was not the non-compliant party in therapy
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GUEST POST
(Posted to the blog on 11/6/09)
Guest Post by Evan Hadkins – Learning from our obsessions: Why do we obsess during the emergency stage?
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