Category: recovering memories

The following blog posts all touch on the topic of recovering childhood memories in adulthood:

April 10, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/4/09)
Was I was abused but don’t remember?: First inklings surface that I may have been molested

April 15, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/8/09)
Yes, something significant happened: Yes, something significant happened to me as a kid, but what?

April 16, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/9/09)
The flashbacks begin: The memories start flooding in

April 19, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/10/09)
Who had hands like that?: I remember more details

April 20, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/11/09)
The entire collection of evidence: Am I making this up or is it for real?

April 21, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/12/09)
Another piece of the puzzle: More pieces to the puzzle

April 23, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/15/09)
Beating up myself: Should I leave therapy? No way I’m apologizing for lying as a kid to protect myself

May 4, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/19/09)
Secrecy vs. privacy: Maybe I won’t tell you everything

May 11, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/22/09)
The loss of innocence: Disclosing too much too soon; Sadness; Healthy sexual fantasies

May 18, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/25/09)
Shutting down the emotions: Conflicts between “doing” and “being”

May 27, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/27/09)
Allowing the memories to come: Fear about role-playing; More memories come to the surface

June 1, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 3/30/09)
The sexual pleasure I experienced: Still fearful about role-playing; Remembering the shameful pleasure

June 1, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 4/2/09)
It is easier to not touch: Fear about touch and expressing explosive emotions

June 11, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/5/09)
Can you fill in the blanks?: Email to my childhood pastor

June 18, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/10/09)
No known problems: Email from my childhood pastor

June 22, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/11/09)
This is a good place: Positive shifts in my thinking

July 4, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/15/09)
Did you molest me?: Letter to “X” – did you molest me?

July 9, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/18/09)
The accused responds: “X” responds to my letter

July 27, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 4/30/09)
A dream brings memories: Memories arrive through dreams; I’m still physically frozen

April 24, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 8/21/09)
Blast from the past: On Facebook, I find a current photo of the man I believe molested me

June 24, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 10/14/09)
It’s easier to forget: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – forgetting it happened, splitting into all good or all bad

July 9, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 10/30/09)
One journey with many steps: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – the stages of healing

July 12, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 11/9/09)
Hidden memories: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – the experience of remembering

July 13, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 11/10/09)
There are feelings attached: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – allowing yourself to remember

July 14, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 11/12/09)
Forgetful children: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – why children forget what is happening to them

July 18, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 11/18/09)
It all makes sense: More memories surface; I’m starting to get my arms around my parents’ role in the trauma

July 24, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 11/30/09)
Structure, triggers and other fun stuff: I’m getting triggered by structure, but how can I function without it?

August 21, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 1/4/10)
Pain is a great teacher: Excerpts from a couple of “healing from trauma” books

August 26, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 1/7/10)
Supportive and discreet friends: Appreciation for the support of my blogging friends

November 2, 2009 – 3am
(Posted to the blog on 2/12/10)
How innocent am I really? A memory about a time I may have acted out sexually as a child

November 15, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 2/26/10)
Stabbing pain: Remembering a gynecology appointment that left me feeling violated

November 26, 2009 (9pm)
(Posted to the blog on 3/8/10)
Am I ready to look in the mirror? A book with clinical photos showing physiological effects of sexual abuse

January 1, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 4/20/10)
An exercise in touch: My plan for a therapeutic exercise

January 7, 2010 – 5am
(Posted to the blog on 4/30/10)
Secrets won’t be secret anymore: A dream about finally getting to tell my story

January 7, 2010 – 3pm – Part 3
(Posted to the blog on 5/6/10)
This day finally arrived – Part 3: A touch exercise triggers a strong body memory

January 7, 2010 – 3pm – Part 4
(Posted to the blog on 5/7/10)
This day finally arrived – Part 4: The session leaves me with mixed feelings and a bit of confusion

January 12, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 5/19/10)
A need to be believed: When I say that the pain is “that bad”, I want people to believe that I’m not exaggerating

January 17, 2010 – 8pm
(Posted to the blog on 5/24/10)
Please stop spinning: Feeling overwhelmed by flashbacks and triggering

February 5, 2010 – noon – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 6/29/10)
Unlocking the mystery – Part 1: When I get triggered, I lock up

February 5, 2010 – noon – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 6/30/10)
Unlocking the mystery – Part 2: Sometimes my therapist responds to my being triggered with skilled supported, sometimes with less effective ways

February 14, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 7/13/10)
Too horrific to put into words: A nightmare leaves me unable to journal

February 17, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 7/23/10)
Giving language to my terror: I’m finally able to document my dream about rape

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