The following blog posts all touch on the topic of my relationship with my dad:
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March 6, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 1/27/09)
I feel dirty: More on my deepest shame
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March 12, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 1/29/09)
Tapes that run inside my head: Homework assignment
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March 27, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 2/5/09)
My ability to affect men: Does T want me to continue as a client? My sexuality; Being a mistress; Self-sabotage
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April 8, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 2/11/09)
My spiritual journey – Part 1: Raised with very conservative Christian beliefs; Had paranormal premonitions of other people’s deaths; Went to a Christian college
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April 8, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 2/13/09)
My spiritual journey – Part 2: Worked as a pastoral intern; Became disillusioned with organized religion
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April 10, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/4/09)
Was I was abused but don’t remember?: First inklings surface that I may have been molested
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April 23, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/15/09)
Beating up myself: Should I leave therapy? No way I’m apologizing for lying as a kid to protect myself
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May 4, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/19/09)
Secrecy vs. privacy: Maybe I won’t tell you everything
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June 1, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 3/30/09)
The sexual pleasure I experienced: Still fearful about role-playing; Remembering the shameful pleasure
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June 1, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 4/2/09)
It is easier to not touch: Fear about touch and expressing explosive emotions
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June 15, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/7/09)
A trapped tiger: Ponderings about healthy expression of emotion
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July 18, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/22/09)
Unreasonable expectations?: I say — I can’t continue if I can’t trust you!
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July 19, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 4/24/09)
Maybe I’m high maintenance: My attack was unnecessarily hurtful, but my point is still valid
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August 3, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/3/09)
Self-sabotage rears its head: I’m having mixed success with moving forward; Does God really care about me?
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August 10, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/12/09)
Stay or bail?: I’m just trying to figure out who’s causing the problem, me or my T (or both?)
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August 11, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/13/09)
How do I make my case?: I ask another therapist for guidance on how to handle the religion conflict
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August 2008
(Posted to the blog on 5/14/09)
Truth is not always absolute: I finally understand why I am so triggered by the conflict
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October 26, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 5/28/09)
So much drama – Part 1: I feel isolated and unable to connect with community; Attending church has been painful; I’m confused about my sexual orientation
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October 28, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 6/2/09)
An end to therapy – Part 1: I find T’s physical contact during our session to be healing; T brings his religious beliefs into the session again and that’s a deal-breaker for me
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October 28, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 6/6/09)
An end to therapy – Part 2: I fully understand why T is so compelled to try to change my spiritual beliefs; nevertheless, I’m ending our therapeutic relationship
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March 9, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 7/13/09)
Unable to protect myself: Looking at my priorities; Why am I defensive in therapy sessions? What triggers my emotional nosedives?
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June 15-17, 2009 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 9/15/09)
Lasting effects – Part 2: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – non-sexual relationships, physical touch
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June 15-17, 2009 – Part 8
(Posted to the blog on 9/28/09)
Lasting effects – Part 8: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – career, God, church, music, children
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June 23, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 10/12/09)
Coping as a way to survive: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – coping as a way to survive
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July 5, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 10/26/09)
Fuzzy boundaries: Maritime history and ways my family tends to run roughshod over my personal boundaries
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July 18, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 11/18/09)
It all makes sense: More memories surface; I’m starting to get my arms around my parents’ role in the trauma
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July 24, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 11/30/09)
Structure, triggers and other fun stuff: I’m getting triggered by structure, but how can I function without it?
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