The following blog posts all touch on the topic of my experiences with men that were sexual in nature:
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April 30, 2007
(Posted to the blog on 1/19/09)
Please fall in love with me: One bad night
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February 19, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 1/22/09)
Why can’t I stick with my plans . . . ??: I decide to go to therapy
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March 12, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 1/29/09)
Tapes that run inside my head: Homework assignment
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March 15, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 1/30/09)
I need a large personal space: Amendment to the touch boundary
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March 15, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 2/1/09)
Was he going to kill me?: Triggered — Memories of an assault
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March 27, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 2/5/09)
My ability to affect men: Does T want me to continue as a client? My sexuality; Being a mistress; Self-sabotage
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April 8, 2008 – Part 3
(Posted to the blog on 2/16/09)
My spiritual journey – Part 3: Left the church; Developed my own spiritual belief structure; Had an abortion; Got married and divorced
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April 8, 2008 – Part 9
(Posted to the blog on 3/1/09)
My spiritual journey – Part 9: Trying to explain the mechanics of my own paranormal abilities
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April 10, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/4/09)
Was I was abused but don’t remember?: First inklings surface that I may have been molested
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May 11, 2008
(Posted to the blog on 3/22/09)
The loss of innocence: Disclosing too much too soon; Sadness; Healthy sexual fantasies
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June 1, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 4/2/09)
It is easier to not touch: Fear about touch and expressing explosive emotions
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October 26, 2008 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 5/28/09)
So much drama – Part 1: I feel isolated and unable to connect with community; Attending church has been painful; I’m confused about my sexual orientation
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October 26, 2008 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 5/31/09)
So much drama – Part 2: I’m confused about my gender identity; Connecting with people is challenging; My addiction to degrading porn causes me to feel disgusting
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March 28, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 7/29/09)
Saving me from myself: I am able to keep myself safe despite being tempted by the lure of destructive habits
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READER INPUT
(Posted to the blog on 8/5/09)
Reader Input – Relationships: Why be in a relationship?
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April 24, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 8/21/09)
Blast from the past: On Facebook, I find a current photo of the man I believe molested me
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June 2, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 9/8/09)
Trust in intimacy: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – intimacy
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June 3, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 9/9/09)
Confused sexuality: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – sexuality
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June 15-17, 2009 – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 9/13/09)
Lasting effects – Part 1: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – sexual/romantic relationships
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June 15-17, 2009 – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 9/15/09)
Lasting effects – Part 2: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – non-sexual relationships, physical touch
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June 15-17, 2009 – Part 3
(Posted to the blog on 9/17/09)
Lasting effects – Part 3: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – physical touch
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June 15-17, 2009 – Part 4
(Posted to the blog on 9/19/09)
Lasting effects – Part 4: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – physical touch, feeling safe during physical activities
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June 15-17, 2009 – Part 5
(Posted to the blog on 9/21/09)
Lasting effects – Part 5: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – sexuality, compulsive behaviors
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June 15-17, 2009 – Part 7
(Posted to the blog on 9/26/09)
Lasting effects – Part 7: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – self-worth
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June 15-17, 2009 – Part 8
(Posted to the blog on 9/28/09)
Lasting effects – Part 8: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – career, God, church, music, children
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June 24, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 10/14/09)
It’s easier to forget: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – forgetting it happened, splitting into all good or all bad
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July 3, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 10/24/09)
At my own pace: Entertaining fantasies in which I am the one initiating touch
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July 8, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 10/29/09)
Keeping to myself: Book study – “Courage to Heal” – intimacy, religion, sex
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August 20, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 1/1/10)
Jumbo tools of sex: My sexuality is broken and I’m disconnected from my gender
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READER INPUT
(Posted to the blog on 1/6/10)
Reader Input – What comes first? How healed is “healed enough” for being in a healthy relationship?
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August 26, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 1/7/10)
Supportive and discreet friends: Appreciation for the support of my blogging friends
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September 18, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 1/15/10)
Male attention: Someone catches my interest
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September 24, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 1/20/10)
The million-dollar question: Why am I willing to participate in questionable relationships?
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September 25, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 1/22/10)
And now I am here: Do people value me?
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October 25, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 2/11/10)
Honest but selfish: I don’t fault my ex-husband for being honest
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November 2, 2009 – 3am
(Posted to the blog on 2/12/10)
How innocent am I really? A memory about a time I may have acted out sexually as a child
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SPOTLIGHT
(Posted to the blog on 2/17/10)
Spotlight – A Surprisingly Sane Blog: Spotlight on a great blog
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November 17, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 3/1/10)
He has kind eyes: I want to be in touch with my femininity
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December 1, 2009
(Posted to the blog on 3/15/10)
Doing my part: Healing my beliefs about men requires daily choosing
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January 4, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 4/23/10)
Uncomfortable stimuli: Ways I can respond to triggering situations
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January 7, 2010 – 3pm – Part 3
(Posted to the blog on 5/6/10)
This day finally arrived – Part 3: A touch exercise triggers a strong body memory
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January 7, 2010 – 3pm – Part 4
(Posted to the blog on 5/7/10)
This day finally arrived – Part 4: The session leaves me with mixed feelings and a bit of confusion
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February 5, 2010 – noon – Part 1
(Posted to the blog on 6/29/10)
Unlocking the mystery – Part 1: When I get triggered, I lock up
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February 14, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 7/13/10)
Too horrific to put into words: A nightmare leaves me unable to journal
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February 15, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 7/14/10)
Hopeful thinking: What if I set aside what I know to be true about men?
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February 16, 2010 – Part 3
(Posted to the blog on 7/20/10)
Finding my voice – Part 3: I need my therapist to be a witness to what I need to say and do without making it about himself
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February 16, 2010 – Part 4
(Posted to the blog on 7/21/10)
Finding my voice – Part 4: Most of all, I need to be heard
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February 17, 2010
(Posted to the blog on 7/23/10)
Giving language to my terror: I’m finally able to document my dream about rape
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February 27, 2010 – Part 4
(Posted to the blog on 8/5/10)
Truth keeps flowing – Part 4: Complaints about my relationships
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March 4, 2010 – noon – Part 2
(Posted to the blog on 8/13/10)
He leads the way – Part 2: The role men could play in my healing
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