[Private journal entry written on Saturday, February 11, 2012]
After my conversation with Kyle yesterday, I decided to learn a bit more about him now that I know his name . . . so, I googled him . . .
His name showed up in several news articles from two years ago concerning an altercation at the gym (the same gym I use) between him and another fitness trainer. It seems Kyle saw the other trainer coaching a client in a way that could cause injury to the client, so Kyle pulled aside the other trainer and called him out on it. The other trainer got mad and went outside, Kyle followed him and the trainer punched Kyle in the nose.
When I read that, I got a sick feeling in my gut . . . is Kyle a violent guy and my radar didn’t pick up on it . . . ?? Am I wrong about him?
I researched the story further and discovered the other trainer had been charged with felony assault (he broke Kyle’s nose) and was banned from the gym . . . and Kyle wasn’t charged with anything and is still welcome at the gym . . . and the other trainer has a long history of assaulting people in our town and in nearby towns . . .
I mentioned all of this to my housemates. They said they were not aware of the assault, but they know of Kyle . . . he grew up in this town, has lived here most of his life, and is quite well known in the community. While my housemates don’t know Kyle personally, they’ve met him through our neighbors two doors down – both men (Kyle and our neighbor) have been close friends since childhood and Kyle trains their son, who is a local high school star athlete. It seems Kyle and his family are highly regarded in the community. So, that makes me feel better.
I then did some more on-line research and found another news story . . . his sister and brother-in-law were killed in a car accident three years ago. His sister was about four years younger than him (Kyle is about 49 now; he would have been about 46 and his sister 42 when she was killed). They were the only siblings in their family.
As I read the story, I remembered Cindy (the paramedic, and wife of James, the cop, and mom of my student Sara) telling me the same story . . .
About six months ago, I had to rework Sara’s lesson schedule because Cindy’s work schedule changed. Cindy mentioned it was because she was taking a more permanent position after filling in a “temporary” supervisory position that she had taken when the original supervisor was killed in a car wreck a year or two prior . . . so, I’m pretty sure Cindy stepped into Kyle’s brother-in-law’s position as a paramedic supervisor (they worked for the same EMS company) . . . or something like that . . . I didn’t really commit the details to memory since it didn’t seem important at the time. But, the news article mentioned that Kyle’s brother-in-law was a paramedic, and the dates and location of the accident match, so I’m sure it is the same people and same accident.
So . . . the point to all of this is that I’m even more convinced that Kyle is a good guy. I’m betting he can empathize with what I’m going through because he has been through some pretty tough crap himself . . . he knows what it is to be violated and he knows what it is to grieve . . . I think he is going to be exactly what I need . . . and maybe I can even provide some emotional support for him in return.